A Blessed Escape

After realizing I haven’t been able to do most of the social things I planned on doing before the year ends, I decided to be spontaneous and cross most of them off my list. And for some reason, I wanted to start with a hangout with certain people.

I feel like someone’s side eye is stabbing through my skin right now because I know I’m probably the princess of solo dates and absolutely want nothing to do with company. Yes, I mostly like to be with myself, and that is why this hangout was even on my list in the first place. “Trying new things, you know?”

So today, I closed very early. I didn’t want to be late for the hangout because I planned everything. And of course, the location was the beach, my favorite place in the world. But then right before I got to the beach, I had a call that required me to go to my cousin’s place. I really wish I could postpone, but it was urgent.

I got there, finished everything I had to do, and then set off to the beach. I was in traffic for more than 30 minutes and I was still excited because I thought it was going to be worth it. I got there much later than the time I was supposed to be there. I actually had a whole apology essay planned for them, but you know what’s interesting? None of them even showed up. I mean, one did for some microseconds and left.

I was surprised, so I asked them what happened, and I couldn’t believe my ears. One of them actually told me point blank, “How do you plan a hangout with us when you are nothing like us?” Listen, I know how a joke sounds, but this wasn’t like that at all. And at one point, I was confused about what she was saying, but then thankfully, I remembered how way back in SHS, they wanted me to be a certain way for them. Don't look at me like that; I actually thought they'd changed.

She was also trying to say I had to pay for them to hang out with me, which sounded weird in my ears; after all, I wasn’t their “class.” Anyway, after the whole conversation with them, I felt relieved that the hangout didn’t even happen because it looked like they had a whole different agenda. And it definitely wasn’t going to make me happy in the end.

You know how you sometimes want to do something so bad. Like, so, so bad, and then it finally happens or nearly happens and you just go like meh. This is one of them. I’m so glad that it didn’t even happen at all. And sometimes when you think you need to cross something off your list, remember there’s probably a reason why it has been on that list for so long.