Parenting my kids with the experience that I had as a kid.

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Thanks for the opportunity to join the contest for this week. It has been a thing of joy for me whenever I remember my childhood days. The things that I missed, and what I feel or think that my children will never get to face as long as I have carried that cross on their behalf. That is how I see it. I once told my kids years back that I will never allow them suffer the kind of suffering that I suffered. I have closed that door for them.

Parenting comes with a lot of challenges. And the things that we all differently passed through as kids helps in shaping us. There are some of us that grew up in a family where there is nothing that they lack, especially when it comes to food and having good clothes to wear. But for some, it was really though. We had it very rough. I never wished anyone to go through what I went through as a child. But it also made me Who I am today. Though not sweet, but with lots of lessons.

As a kid there are so many things that happened to me that made me become extra careful when it comes to that area with my kids.

First of all, I was raised away from my parents. Losing my father even before I was born contributed to the factor that made my mother gave me out to someone else to live with. So all my life, I don't know what it means to have a father, and I was also denied the pleasure of staying close to my mother and my siblings. This is the first promise that I made to myself even before I got married. My children must live with me and eat whatever we can afford. At a time, some people came asking me to give one of my children to go and live with them. But the memory of how I grew up without my parents by myself never allowed me to let my kids go away from my sight. I insisted I want to stay with them.

The second thing that happened to me while I was a kid that I also promised myself never to allow my children go through is the fact that I was afraid. This fear of asking for anything. Fear of talking before my aunt. Fear of being beaten up by my aunt. I was just too afraid of everything and everyone. Each time I spoil anything, do anything wrong, say anything wrong. The next thing that I will hear is " can your poor mother afford this, can your mother give you this kind of good meal, can your mother buy back this expensive thing that you have spoiled". All of these contributed to the fact that I became afraid of doing anything so that I will not spoil it and will be reminded that my poor mother can't afford it.

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The last thing that I want to talk about is the issue of making my kids my friends. I never smelled that. I don't even know what it meant for a child to become friends with the mother. I just watched it in movies those days. Because of that I have decided to make my kids my friends. Sometimes my husband gets jealous, because he don't get to know much about the children like myself. The reason is because I made all my kids my friends. They confide in me. They tell me what they can't tell their father and some times he gets to hear it from me when I and the kids must have carried out our plans.

Okay. This is parenting for me. I try to check what I did not get or what I missed and make sure I give it to my kids so that they will not go through what I suffered as a child.

This is it. What do you think? Should my story become a stepping stone for my kids? Or do you think I am wrong here? Kindly drop your comments. It will be well appreciated.

This is from your friend @adaezeinchrist.

This picture belongs to me.