I'm No Free Psych Consult

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Just occurred to me the number of times I've been asked about mental health inquiries but more centered on a friend's personal problems. While I do like the idea that I'm relied on for friendly advice, professional advice hits different.

Whenever a patient wants my personal number or just wants to get friendly, I just use the department's hotline or social media account to reach me. It sounds like rejection but it has to be this way, otherwise you stop putting boundaries between your work and personal life.

I tell you, there's no healthy and therapeutic relationship that could work long term if your patient is also your own friend because of how overfamiliar you are with each other and how much bias you are with your judgment. This is the major letdown news I have to constantly break with some friends that caught up with what I'm doing these days and are interested in getting a psych consult.

I like to help but we have to stop being friends first and it's going to be business. The overfamiliarity would mean making the wrong calls in treatment, patient/friend setting different expectations that are unrealistic like having your own personal psychiatrist 24/7, and breaking boundaries with each other's personal lives. I just refer their cases to someone else because there's no bias there.

Whenever I get to hang with some friends and their mutuals who happen to be professionals (lawyers, engineers, etc.), I make it a point to keep things casual despite my interest in their field depending on where the conversation goes. I mean, in social gatherings, you'd expect people to chill and enjoy NOT WORKING in the moment, so if someone just pops up for some free consult, that's major turn off.

I may or may not want to be reminded of my work in those casual gatherings but that would depend on the atmosphere. So I exercise the same empathy when talking to other friends that just want to catch up and chill.

Thanks for your time.

mentalhealth blog neoxian
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+1. I see it in myself and others. As soon as we find someone who accepts us, we start to overdo it. I've made this mistake many times. Although we are herd animals, we are equally egoistic individuals with our own limits of endurance. So we need to get to know ourselves, our advantages that we will show others and our flaws that we will work on so as not to irritate the rest. And then find friends and work on the relationship. Nevertheless, it is worth maintaining contact with a psychologist in such a loose, friendly form. Balance is key, but difficult to achieve. It is easier to achieve it when we do not have too much free time for nonsense. Then our "bad" part often speaks.

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Lol do people come up for free consultations often?

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They don't after I started limiting my interactions in social spaces or just appear offline. But some occasional events like inserting the topic in a convo happens once in a while. I don't hate it but at the same time, some timings just put me off randomly.

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Seems to be part and parcel of (some parts of) the human experience. There are always going to be people who try to "smarm" their way to free services.

Naturally, boundaries are essential in something like a therapist/client relationships... but I even see it other aspects of the world. For example, I am somewhat of an expert in a specfic type of collectible and I sell on eBay... and I frequently get random messages from people who who have no interest in buying anything, they just want a free expert opinion.

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I make it a point to at least offer something in return if it's expert opinion despite a freebie notice. I don't know if it's just culture thing or me thing. I don't expect compensation when I do stuff that requires minimal effort despite having an expert opinion required but there are times when I sense an entitlement from the other that makes me ask for some.

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It's good to establish those professional boundaries. Often in certain settings, topics about social and psychological impact on people are commonly discussed because they're intrinsic to human relationships. So how do you avoid giving advice that might seem clinical, or prevent falling into those ingrained communication habits developed over years of practice with patients?

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I give advice when they ask for it but be selective about what I say. only the essential stuff that actually helps but not everything. Just as you buy a package where there's a free, standard and premium choices, you deliver the free stuff and it does it's purpose but reserve the better stuff behind a paywall.

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