PARENTHOOD VS CHILDHOOD- LESSONS LEARNT.( hiveLearners contest #week 52 editiin 01)
Sometimes, when I remember my childhood, I feel like going back to being a child. The love I received from my parents was great.
Daddy had five sisters but they all died when they were young. His elder brother married but gave birth to boys. When Daddy married, he too gave birth to boys, two boys before I came.
When I did, I became the first daughter of my family, the first grand daughter and the first great grand daughter. I was precious Hahaha.
Even when I was Daddy's favourite girl, this post is about how they treated me, what I liked and didn't like, what I did or didn't do and what lesson I have learnt. What I want to do in return to my children and what I wouldn't want to continue. Thank you @hivelearners community for inspiring this.
Let's talk about my parents and my childhood, at least some of them. Hahaha.
I mentioned that I was the first female that happened to my father aside my mum. His elder sisters, five of them died before he was born.
So my father viewed me as untouchable. My two older brothers, if they beat me any day and I report it, they are finished. 😅 The elder one of the two still has a mark on his head till date, given by my father because he beat me. I was so pampered by Father.
My Mother was so protective of me. I wasn't allowed to come out and laugh when male friends visited my elder brothers. Mum would call me spoilt girl. When females visit me, Mum would pull my ears and warn me not to bring my friends home, so they won't pose as temptations for my brothers. "Let them not come and say my boys impregnated them", She would say.
LOVE AND DISCIPLINE
Mum was a disciplinarian. She hardly spares me when I break a plate. Her style of beating is funny now though not funny then. haha. She would pretend not to be angry but send me to the room to get something, when I leave for the room, she would follow me inside, lock the door and give me the beating of my life.😭 They call it discipline those days.
Yet, she loves me so much. She showers me with too much gift that her fellow traders knew my name, even children. Whatever she sees, instead of buying for herself, she would say "this would be good for B my daughter". My name is Bridget, she calls me B. Every where in the market, people called me, "B my daughter" When I asked a few why they call me that, they me the story behind it, mimicking and teasing my Mother. It was funny to see her speak highly of me yet, if I misbehave, she throws caution to the wind and beat hell out of me.
Mother loves me appearing neat. As a child, she applies make up for me and taught me how to make up as I grew older. If we have an event to attend as a family, something I would decide not to wear make up and appear simple. She would be disturbed. " Why are you looking like my house girl? Why are you so simple, why can't you put on that beautiful dress I bought recently? Why is there no make up on your face?"
She would tell me to sit back at home if I know I am not going to "look good". Or better still, "you would go but not ride in the car with the family and not sit with the family". Hahaha. She was my mirror. She inspects not only what I wear but how I wear it and what I add to bring out the beauty of both my looks and appearance. Hahaha.
WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE ABOUT MY PARENTS AND WOULD LOVE TO CHANGE ABOUT MY KIDS
MY ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE WAS CONSTANTLY CRITICIZED BY DADDY
Daddy was never satisfied with my academic performance. While in School, I always took the second position. While my teachers would say I should keep it up, Daddy would ask why can't I be the first?
In another exam, even if I put more effort I may be in the third position in class. My teachers would look at my grades when I took second position and congratulate me that my grade is higher now when I took the third position, that means I am making progress. The position does not matter, they would encourage me.
I would go home happy. But when Daddy opens my report card, he would spank me silly. He would say I have gone backward. Although this sharpened me to read more then but now as an adult I do not like it.
You can not determine the true capability of a child by one exams. Some factors can affect his /her performance. Besides, position is not the main thing. See if the child made progress in her grades this term than the last term. I know the worth of my kids. I appreciate them when they score high marks, I don't compare them with anyone and ask why they can't score higher than others. I appreciate them and encourage them to do better. Daddy never verbally encouraged me. He would condemn my efforts, to the extent that I would cry. Yet he would give me a gift for "passing". Hahaha
MUM HAD NO MERCY WITH HER CHORES FOR ME
Even when I had a younger Sister, I was the only one called to book if dishes are not clean, bathroom is not scrubbed or the rooms are not arranged. My brothers had their chores which were mostly helping Mum out in her shop. My younger Sister was viewed as "still little" for many years. I worked as if I was on punishment. Mum never reduced my chores, not even when I am sick. She will tell me to take my drugs and start my chores, doing them gently as my strength could carry. When Daddy challenges her with "Can't you see this girl is sick?" She will ask "if She is sick in her husband's house, does it mean that her family would not eat?" Funny enough I would complete the chores, one after another, even though I did them at a slow pace. When she comes from the market and see all I have done, she would praise me and say "if you lie down with sickness, the sickness will stay with you. But if you get busy while sick, sickness will leave you". That has been her logic especially with me as a girl. It worked those day but I didn't like it.
Today if my girls are not feeling well, I treat them, and allow them to rest. I do the chores until they get better. At least if not for anything, it shows them that I care and empathize with them. And I see appreciation in the eyes when they thank me. And when we'll, they apologize for having stressed me. It's really stressful doing everything all by myself especially if hubby is travelled.
I learnt to love and cherish my kids. I learnt to take care of their needs and make them happy. My parents were interesting people. Sometimes I always tell my friends that I don't know I love more because none of them have all the qualities. Where one excels, the other excels in another. If you ask Daddy for money, he gives double without asking for balance or what you used it for. But if you ask Mum for money, she will ask what you need it for. You may just say, "don't worry ma" and walk away. Hahaha. But she is the one that enjoys buying things for me.
I even forgot to mention that mum loves meat so much. If you eat with Mum and there are three pieces of meat in the plate of soup,better not rejoice yet that you are getting one full meat. She is eating two and half, if you don't hurry to eat that half she left, she will still cut from it. Hahaha. But if Daddy was the one you are eating with, Daddy will eat one meat, you will get two. Daddy will say you need it more. Hahaha. Funny couple
I love my parents and I enjoyed my growing up days.Writing everything that happened will make this post too long. Let me stop here. Hahaha. Only that Daddy died so early before he reap the fruits of his labour. Well, may God keep Mum alive for us. We will all live to see her above 100years. God help us.
How was your childhood like? Can you gist me in the comment, or participate in the contest and tag me,let me come and laugh. Hahahaha.