My Parents and I; relationship and everything else.
I'm motivated by @selfhelp4trolls to make this post. He asked some questions I'd like to answer with a couple of paragraphs.
1. What role do/did your parents play in your life?
Mehn, my parents played and are still playing a huge role in my life.
My morals, principles and way of life was influenced by my parents, maybe not so much as I got out of their sight for a while, but they set the wheels rolling.
I lived with my parents all my life except for when I had to travel for long vacations, and when I left for college.
My Dad is who you'd describe as disciplinary master. I feared and respected him. Didn't dread him because he wasn't a wicked or a mean person. He was simply a no-nonense man who wouldn't permit carelessness in any of his kids.
I didn't dread my father because I had memories of child plays with him, would sit on one of his foot and clung tight to his leg as he moves around the house, my sister on the other foot.
We'd sleep off on the couch and he'd carry us into the room and lay us on the bed.
He'd sing and dance with us. We grew up, girls.
He wakes us up every midnight or early morning to study, checks our notes and class works and this is where I fear most, I don't keep complete notes and the discipline that follows ehn.. ahh!
He detests noise, especially when he's taking a nap. He hates it when we destroy things, we must receive cane🤣
I realized my dad wasn't a difficult man as people who had lived with us thought, maybe because I'm his child.
One time my sister broke a glass and my Dad was going to flog her later that evening (spare the rod and spoil the child) and I quickly gave her an idea, "go and apologize, don't beg not to be flogged, simply apologize", she did this and my Dad forgave and never flogged her! Right there, I got the code.
One evening, he was sitting down like he does, he reads a lot and listens to the radio and I went to ask how he was, for no reason.
Days later my mum told me of how I saved my Dad's life, he was lost in thoughts and was losing it but I came and made him happy. I didn't even know my mere checking on him had that great effect.
My Dad thought me to read, academic and life books, thought me financial literacy and other aspects to life.
At some point as I grew, we became business partners. He will let me in on whatever he's venturing into and ask me to help do due diligence on it. He shared some of his plans with me and gave me so much right to talk to him at his level. Talmbout, you can call me by my name.
Enough of my Dad, I'm also a mummy's girl. My mom has a pure soul and is so innocent.
She's so hardworking that when she sends me on an errand and I grumble, she gets on it without looking at me twice. I wasn't such a good girl growing up. One time, with my annoying habits then, she cried for me. That was the breaking point.
That changed me. I apologized and ask her to revoke every negative word she ever made concerning me.
In secondary school one time, seeing that updating my notes were a challenge, she took it upon herself to write my notes for me. What a loving mother.
My mum sings my praise a lot to whoever cares to listen, people know me because of her many gists.
I love the way my parents lived, they may not have been perfect but I never witnessed violence in our house.
So much to say, but there are other questions to answer.
2. Has your relationship with your parents changed over the years?
I would say yes. As I became a teenager and went to college, I related more with my friends and peers than my parents. I loved the Independence I had. I tried to not ask them for so much as things weren't so good for them and I barely went home.
The relationship with my elder sister got strained too.
Communication was so poor.
But as I grow and realize life is fickle and can fade at any point, especially since Covid, I decided we'd get involved in each other's lives as much as possible.
We communicate daily via our WhatsApp group. A day of silence means my day complaining in my DM that I've gone silent on everyone 😂
3. Is there anything you wish your parents would do （or would have done) differently?
I wish I was more free to talk to my parents about many things. I wish I wasn't so independent at a very young age.
They painted picture of perfection that I'd rather be perfect than show my brokenness. I wish they had told me it's okay to be broken and we can always talk about it.
I've been through the worse of life but they don't know and I don't intend bringing them into the hurt that keeps hurting. Everyone thinks I'm great and that's fine🤗
4. How are you similar to your parents?
My parents are so keen on integrity and I think I'm likewise.
I'm scared to flaunt rules, I keep to time, I do my job even if others are playing around with theirs.
I'm not stern, just like my mother. Her meekness is out of this world, I hope I'll be as hardworking when it comes to chores like her, too.
I don't know whose resemblance I have between the two of them, I think I have something of both.
5. How are you different from your parents?
My parents are teachers, I'm a Doctor.
My parents trained us to be perfect, I'll train my children to be themselves.
My parents would rather take a longer route than tip anyone. This world has dealt with them, I'm not saying I'd outrightly go into bribery or anything of that sort but I'd be guided by wisdom. Some sufferings that could have been avoided..
6. Do you prefer a more involved relationship with your parents or more distance?
Definitely a more involved, moderately involved, though.
I've been distant (away from home)
since I was 14.
There are no guarantees in life, let me enjoy them while I can. Age is not on their side and the sequelae that comes with old age has begun to set in. My mom had cataract extraction surgery late last year and my Dad recently complained of a health condition. You never know how long more you have with these old guys, and so I'll cherish every moment I can spend with them, even though I pray them a very healthy long life.
It was so exciting relishing memories and writing about my parents. Thank you again for the prompt, @selfhelp4trolls 🤗
Here are my answers to Cross Culture Questions 2
Thank you for reading my blog🤗