Festering and growing with my having no knowledge of its very existence.

Well I finally figured out what is wrong with me. It's taken months to get to the conclusion of what is wrong with me. I have spent countless hours and hours of self reflection. Sometimes the mirror has warped from the intense stare I have given it to achieve the unthinkable. There is a void left of the self reflection made intense from the eyes burning through reality of time and space.

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The question plagued me all through the months I have spent to travel around everything existing in their own space and time. I have even made it a point to go to extremes to test the fabric of time by wasting away hours and minutes consuming life giving liquids. These I made sure affected me to go into unknown territories within the vast oceans existing within me and around me.

You wonder what is wrong with me?

Well for a start you will have to see the process of how being wrong is also becoming all the while right in other aspects of my existence. You see I now see doors do open when other ones close. These are all very easy to miss when you are navigating with just your blind eyes and no other inkling to add another aspect of your abilities. Abilities only activated through extreme and rigorous work to allow you to let it turn mundane into the most amazing things. No drugs. Just the breath.

Breathing brings in everything and anything needed by your body to create these new latent tool laying dormant inside of you. I have activated them through long hours and even back breaking work spent to strengthen my mind and body.

However exercise is not all there is to make me that perfect. You see there needs to be time for self reflection. I needed to look inside me and question myself. My very existence. My very reason of being where I am and how it is I am there to begin with. Then I am leading myself to the now and when I arrived here I spent hours and days and months looking at the eyes staring back at me. No thought. Just eyes locked into one another, into the deep dark depths hides my deepest darkest secrets. Festering and growing with my having no knowledge of its very existence.

Growing.

Into something able to consume me if I did not take the time, a true time to really look into my eyes and burn away the thick layers I have created to hide it to begin with. Resulting in the mirror disappearing into thin air with a void existing in its place while simultaneously not existing. Sucking in al the light and energy around it.

So what is wrong with me?

I have created a monster and fed it till it became me I have known to be me. This was not something shaped by anything but by my own doing. My actions. My consequence. My penance, if I have to be brutal to myself own self.

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5 comments
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actions are forced by circumstances. don't be too hard on yourself. keep safe bud.

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Thanks bro.
I'm trying in this deep introspective trying self inflicted time.

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they say the substitute to happiness is chocolate, eat one, it might help.

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