It's a Friday and I have no plans to do anything other than sit here and contemplate and wait.

Another Friday and the week is coming to a new one in a day or two. Mondays are a favourite of mine. I used to hate it when I was younger and didn't have any thing I thought I needed to protect but since I have grown as a human being there are aspects of life I want to keep at. Namely lifestyle. It's what makes my effort worth the while and gives me a progress report on goals I had not thought of having to begin with.

Mondays are a day in the week where I know I have another week where I am being paid money. Money makes the world go round and calling it evil just tells me you don't have any. I'd like to think everyone has them in their pocket, on their hand or are about to have them handed to them. I was very much naïve and probably still am in some ways as I grew up. I was fortunate my immediate family is large and very involved or always getting into each others noses, I was always told what to do and more importantly were able to see through how things affected my older siblings. Consequence was not a mystery to me. It happened right in front of me. Their actions had the effect of showing me where I think I had to do and what not to do. I know it doesn't make since but to me it does.

You see by siblings are all hard headed. They all think about doing the mistakes and learning from all of them. I was always a nosey little guy so I saw how things done by them would have either a positive result or a negative one. Of course I a m human so I always end up either repeating some of their mistakes or when I am lucky I act on the positive ones. More often than not I have had the positive come about, since after all lessons resulting in bad things usually stick easily inside everyone's head. There is no greater teacher than failure or pain, both result in a heavy heart when you break something in the process or as an after effect.

I do not take pride in my luck, I am more proud of when I make a mistake with the damage not resulting in a total loss of life or limb, or asset. I have a faint memory of falling from a cliff. Memory was hazy because I had drank a whole bottle of bourbon, young; dumb and full of cum, we all go through teen stupidity. I came out of the experience with a scar on my left forearm reminding me to never go into the bush with no idea of where I am or what is ahead of me.

Of course, the lesson of not drinking one too many has still eluded me all these years since I still find myself drinking one too many, but I am happy it does not occur most weekends I find myself drinking.

Everyone has a weakness and mine is alcohol.

I have not had a chance or the inclination to stop but I really want to have the control to tell myself to take it easy every time I drink. Of course this changes when I have someone I need to look after, that constant reminder helps me control my consumption. In the coming months I will have to practice this since I will going for a wander. I will have to find myself again. I will have to keep myself all safe and sound with no one there needing my care.

If you are confused, that is fine. I tend to like writing in ambiguous ways. Especially when it involves me and what I am planning on doing. Not sure why I do it.

Well best leave this here for now and just #TGIF.