When things fall apart

Leaving at seven in the morning I arrived at twelve, lunch time. I took out my drone and did a quick few pics of the bridge and then decided to change my plans from driving directly to Ormoc without eating lunch to have something to eat first then heading out since the ferry does not leave till ten PM tonight.

After lunch the rains came and delayed my ride so instead of being in Ormoc at four in the afternoon I arrived at six in the evening.

Fully booked!

Fuck!

Now I have to wait for a 9 AM ferry to Mandaue which the guy told me will arrive there at six PM so I will be wasting my waking hours on the ferry tomorrow waiting for the ship to arrive just because I changed my plans.

I think this whole trip has been a change from one thing to another. Now something else is in my head. My brother reckons I have decided to stay in the Philippines for good. I have told everyone I am soul searching and if I find a reason to stay I will be staying.

I have made that clear. I have spoken about it to nearly everyone but for some reason my family reckons I am staying here for good. Now this is pissing me off and getting my in a mood since the are now all trying to get me to do shit for them with the tag extra that they will give me things in return and also since I am here they can get me to be the guy in charge to what they have planned as an idea so I can have something to do.

I have yet to finish my soul searching an already there is this expectation of getting me to do shit for them. I should be happy in their eyes since they are going to give me shit. I should be grateful that I am being provided for.

But why does it feel like I am just being lead into something that in the end will benefit me but also may not without having to really see this is probably not what I have already told them my journey is about.

I have a mind to disappear.

Just go and not be found.

I have not asked for anything from anyone and at the same time I have told what I am trying to do. But it seems everything is being changed on me.

Well back to today I had planned on not writing anything today since I was going to just do an Actifit post since I am already in a foul mood for missing the ferry.

I am even finding it hard to breathe as I write these.

Fuck you mental state.

Anyway I best leave it here as I have in a way took it off my chest.

Oh and this is one of the highlights in my ride today.

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