Artist's relief
Hi guys, I hope you are well.
Today my post is not about some makeup or drawing, in fact, I was going to publish a drawing, but something happened to me that made me change my plans and discourage me a lot, this time I want to let go a little of the burden I carry inside, I want to unburden myself, to show the other side of being an artist, at least in my case.
Although this is an activity that I love and that I enjoy on many occasions, sometimes problems that we can not control or high stress situations that simply end with you, today I share a little of my story.
Since I was very little I enjoyed drawing for hours, I always wanted to be an artist or fashion designer, that dream was frustrated by society, a society where whoever heard someone saying "I want to be an artist" immediately made fun of me and said "you will starve to death" today although I am not starving I have survived with my art, but sometimes this passion and love for art leads me to become obsessed or over demanded, I feel that I am never enough and that's why I'm still stagnant, besides my style of drawing is not one of the most requested by people who hire artists and that's why I've never dared to do commissions, I feel it would be a huge responsibility and it would probably drive me crazy, I almost always share my art exclusively on hive and some of my social networks (when I remember that I have social networks) I really don't feel very comfortable doing it because of my insecurities, although on Hive I feel different here I feel better, more accepted by people who kindly give me their advice or comments, even funny comments that make me laugh.
But just as I feel good drawing and sharing part of my imagination, I have also felt despair, anger, frustration, sadness, sometimes the environment where we live does not help us to move forward, today for example, I was working on a drawing in the morning and was almost ready but the power went out and my file was destroyed, I could not even recover the previous layers absolutely NOTHING.
Hours of work went to trash in a matter of seconds despite being a person who saves the progress of the drawing constantly today I could not save myself from this misfortune, in my country the issue of electricity is something that affects almost everyone, even in the capital (where I live) is the place where you could say that the light goes less, because in other states even have schedules to remove it and put it back, I find it incredible as we are in 2024 and it seems that we are still living in another century.
This issue has been bothering me for a long time but my drawing was always saved, maybe I lost 10 minutes of progress but a file had never been damaged in this way.
In addition to this, my Tablet already needs to be changed, I have been trying to buy it abroad for two weeks because as I mentioned in Venezuela we live in the last century and there are very few stores that have drawing tablets, specifically the most updated are the most difficult to get, I only see old tablets very old versions and costing three times its price, even more than the most recent screenless drawing tablets, and the box of my tablet is ugly and broken, but the Tablet still works, however it is time for a change plus the pencil is damaged.
But of course nothing will be easy, because it turns out that now my Shein account was blocked without breaking any rules of the page, they simply blocked my account when I made the purchase of the Tablet and the makeup I ordered, according to them because "I have several accounts" I only have one and I buy there once a year, I have never asked for refunds and I have always left my comments on all the products I have bought, until this moment they still respond as if they were a bot, they give me no evidence or reasons in which I failed to comply with the service, now I will have to look for another place to buy.
Supongo que nada es fácil y menos para alguien que se angustia por todo como yo, igual seguiré dibujando por que es una de las pocas cosas que aun disfruto de la vida.
Gracias por leer esto fue un alivio, poder contar parte de lo que he sentido estos últimos días, para mí no es fácil hablar de estas cosas porque realmente me gusta mantener mi vida privada al margen, pero ya no soporto tanto.
Que tengan una linda noche.
These last few days have been really stressful, even today I didn't feel like taking my tablet and drawing again for fear that at any moment the light would go out, I'm thankful I didn't do it because it did, it went out again in the afternoon.
There is also the issue of mental block which is very common in me, it is something that is very difficult for me to work, to the point that my head hurts when I think so much.
I am an extremely anxious person and I do not like to wait, it bothers me not to have ideas, it stresses me to feel stuck, it affects me totally to the point of wanting to give up everything, after calming down I think about how silly I was and I go back to normal, this for me is a job, my dream job, because I always wanted to paint, I love it, I like it very much but I never imagined all the weight that came with that dream.
I guess nothing is easy and even less for someone who is anxious about everything like me, but I will continue drawing because it is one of the few things I still enjoy in life.
Thanks for reading this, it was a relief, to be able to tell part of what I have felt these last days, for me it is not easy to talk about these things because I really like to keep my private life aside, but I can't stand so much anymore.
Have a nice evening.
que triste la situacion de la electricidad ojala este sea el año del cambio y venga una administracion que trabaje por el pais.
no te desanimes sigue adelante tu trabajo es muy bueno a mi me encantan tus dibujos y tus maquillajes.
Ojalá estoy esperando este cambio desde hace años
Gracias querido @nabu.doconosor2 claro! seguiire adelante 😊
Entiendo totalmente tu frustración amiga, también me ha pasado y me han dicho ese tipo de comentarios, ya que también soy artista pero me especializo en el baile.. y esos comentarios puedo llegar a escucharlos constantemente.. tranquila aquí en hive estamos para escucharnos y comprendernos, pero déjame decirte que tienes bastante talento en lo que haces y no te preocupes que todo pasara a su tiempo, sé que es difícil pero nosotros los artistas tenemos una capacidad de poder con todo jajaj un saludo <3
Muchas gracias @d-rock esos comentarios de las personas son simplemente por que son ignorantes ya aprendi eso, en esta epoca hay oportunidades para todo y para todos solo hay que saber buscar, me alegra saber que entiendes mi punto te deseo mucho exito en tu arte del baile y te admiro por eso, bailar no es para nada sencillo! saludos 🥰❤