Coffee, Nature and The Struggle to Find Myself Again
The more we hide, lock ourselves up, not a single problem will come out resolved in our life.
Hi, life. Today I'm not fine. But I'm sure I'll be fine. Oh, hey, all my friends. Welcome to a more personal blog this time.
Accompanied by an iced coffee, I'll tell you about the past few weeks I've been dealing with, my struggle with bouts of depression that pulled me to the lowest point in my life at that time.
At least by writing this, I know it will be better. In the past few weeks, when the problem snowball was small, I've avoided my friends. I even deleted the chat application that I used to communicate with my friends.
Over time, that's right. It was like a snowball that was getting bigger by the day. I'm not fine. I ended up falling into the deepest pit of depression. I was not okay at that time. But in the second I wrote this post, I was much better.
Walk Out and Breathe In
While walking out and breathing in seems like the simplest things a human being can do, in fact, it is not that simple when one is in the darkest moments of his life. That person just wanted to lock himself in a room and had no interest at all even to look at the sky that day. That was me a few days ago.
Luckily, when I posted on HIVE, there were a lot of positive comments that made me want to move on to create more works. I miss cooking, I miss being creative with food plating activities, and I miss my smile which I usually show in my poses in my posts.
Maybe for those of you who have noticed, in the past few weeks, I rarely display what I posted frequently before. I'm mostly posting content supplies that I've created a few months ago.
Finally, I felt like getting up again. I realized I had lost myself and I had to find it again. I realize I've fallen apart, but this is life which is a process of reshaping ourselves for the better. We've fallen apart, we've fallen in the deepest hole, but that doesn't mean we can't meet on the top :).
I took my old sandals, then I went to the rice field not far from behind my house. While carrying iced coffee and toasts that had just arrived from the delivery order process, I was looking for a good spot to enjoy the late afternoon time.
I realized what a loss it would be for me to miss all these beauties. During my worst times, I thought too much of the negative as if there was nothing beautiful to enjoy.
Loss of Boundaries Leads to Loss of Freedom
I took a sip of Iced Coffee Milk while remembering the mistakes that made me sink. I lost track of the actions I took to help those closest to me, including my parents. I was too naive and forgot that our family can be a source of deadly toxic relationships in this world.
No, no, it's not my family's fault. It's entirely my fault for not setting limits on what I can do, and what I shouldn't do for them. When I give all of myself to them, I do feel happy, but it was never happy. I gave my all but in the end I lost myself, and I lost the freedom that I had always been.
It's not easy to get up and say no, I don't do that anymore. But finally I can say that because I'm fed up and hate myself that keeps falling into adversity.
I must be responsible for my life, and in the end, I must save myself, not others, not my family. I am responsible for joy and happiness in my life.
Most of the time we lose our true selves because we want to make other people happy. We want to love people to the fullest, but then what happens is that we become empty ourselves.
It's never too late to realize and rediscover what we should have found. I am grateful that there is still an opportunity for me to feel that I must rediscover myself. There are lots of people out there who are still caught up in the rush of other people's wills and fail to realize what they want.
Coffee and Toasts From “Janji Jiwa Brand”
Thank you to the universe for still allowing me to have these good things and share them with you. This afternoon I have Iced Coffee Milk, and 2 Versions of Toasts from one of my fav brands, “Janji Jiwa” .
This Iced Coffee Milk seems like the default taste that my tongue wants. It just feels right. Just that. Not too much, not lacking, but also not making me want to change brands.
Beef Mayo Toast
The first version of toast I enjoyed was Beef Mayo Toast. Inside it is combined with an omelet as well as sliced beef and served with a mayo topping, sprinkled with spring onions.
What surprised me deliciously was the version of the omelet they served. It was so soft and creamy. For me, it is delicious and addictive.
Well, for the record, maybe some people will not like this version of toast, but about taste is a subjective thing and we can't force several people to have the same taste orientation. At least, in my opinion, this menu is worth trying :)
Tuna Mayo Toast
This version of the toast is for my mom. Seems to have a thinner filling than the previous version one. Contains tuna slices, also with omelet and topped with mayo.
Let Nature Heal Your Soul
It looks like unbelievable magic, but nature always has a special way that is tailored to each person to heal the wounds of life. But with a note, we must be aware that we need to be healed.
We must be aware that we are hurting and want to welcome our healing with joy and happiness. Don't some people don't want to get well because they feel they are fine? Be careful with your manipulative thoughts.
I hope you can find what you deserve to find today. Have a great day, good people, HIVE Lovers!
Thank you for reading my blog and reblog if you want my blog this time worthy of reading by others.
All Pictures Were Taken by iPhone 11.
Best Regards,
Anggrek Lestari
Anggrek Lestari is an Indonesian fiction writer who has published two major books. Now She is a full-time content creator. She has a goal to share life, poem, food content that makes others happy and can get inspiration.
Make sure you follow her blog as well for some interesting discussions about life other than food.
If you need a copywriter for your projects, Anggrek Lestari will be ready to help you.
Contact Person: [email protected]
Discord: anggreklestari#3009
Nothing is better than enjoy some delicious out in open....it is like rice field...something very unusual from city set up.....completelly fresh surrounding.
The countryside is indeed having a peaceful side to spend time :)
Such poignant words. You deserve to take the time to do whatever it is you need to do to make yourself feel better and find yourself again, @anggreklestari.
Nature heals but we must allow it to heal us. I hope you continue to feel better about your situation. Take as much iced Coffee and outdoor walks. 😁
Yeah really difficult to go through but I'm sure I can make it. Especially on Hive, people help me lots :)
Thank you :)
I feel you. A lot of things going on my mind right now. I'm so fed up with so many things and I can't even process what should I do. But I am extremely grateful to have the chance to live each day. I have an opportunity to be better and to get better. I am grateful I stumbled on your post and somehow relate and feel the emotions you are feeling while writing this post. I agree that we should set boundaries. We should always take into consideration our own well-being. I hope you are in a great place now. Sending you love and healing!
In life indeed upside and down. When we feel down, just accepted it but not gave up :)
I know you can be better too!
Thanks for believing in me! :)
amazing, everything looks natural with the rice starting to turn yellow
It's like you've had any regrets or trouble in life. However, never lose heart over anything at any time. Do not regret. And always think I'm getting out of here. Get up somehow. think it is my determination to win my life.
I do not regret it sure. I just looked at back to take the lesson :)
We must be stronger right 💪
Thank you for posting this blog. Bad things happen sometimes and affect every thing in life without realizing it. However, from there we can learn that life is change. We carry on or we will continue to be stuck in it. Talking to nature for recovery is a wonderful thing to find ourselves again.
Indeed life is change and mostly challenging. We have to go through with big struggle of it
Be stronger, my friend!
This blog hits me hard, I have been feeling down a few weeks ago and it is really a struggle.
I hope we will feel better soon. Sending hugs for our silent battles in life. Breathe.
Hope you will be okay too. Keep your mind positive. Writing a blog maybe will help :)
We all go through highs and lows in life. The lows aren’t easy but when we overcome them, we get stronger. I’ve learned that it’s so important to set boundaries for ourselves. We feel good when we give of our love and time to others. It’s easy to do so with those close to us-family. If we however give all we have, it leaves us empty. I too am learning to say “no”. Months ago I was so low, I had no interest in my hobbies or even my favorite foods. Seasons are just for a time. We have to surround ourselves with positivity especially when low times hit. Nature has a way of healing us. Greenery, the sound of waves hitting the shore, the chirps of birds, the beautiful colors of flowers. Wishing you joy and happiness. Cheers!
Yeah, I'm learning to say no and love myself 🌸🤗
I hope you have a great day :)
It can be hard but little by little…🌸🌸Thanks, have a great day too.
This is a great post, I enjoyed reading it. beautiful pictures too.
This got me thinking, because it is very true. We go any length sometimes to please someone that would end up leaving.
Is it really worth it?
I'm reading your blog for the first time and i admire your writing, it says you you have two books published, do you mind telling me their names? And how to access them?
Thanks for sharing.
!PIZZA
PS: your old sandals are very pretty🙃
I’m Glad you enjoying my post.
We often want to make everyone happy but yeah make sure that's not having negative impact on ourselves.
My book in Indonesian unfortunately:) Thanks for asking anyway!
Have a great day!
Well, I must say I appreciate this one quite a bit; I know that feeling very well, personally. It's a roller coaster, day over day, with some many friggin' triggers; maybe it's more a minefield?
Keep up the good fight for sure, and maybe give in a bit get that cast iron pan we've chatted about, and have some new fun with food!
Ah, what a coincidence! I have added to the shopping cart in the online shop about the cast iron
Thinking about that dish at least keeps my mind going positive :)
Sweet, you will love it!
I just ordered that Coffee. But I dont like the toast. That's not delicious enough. 🤣
some of toast version isn’t delicious. maybe you have to try every single version to find that suitable in your taste :)
Hello Anggrek, it's sad to learn of your difficult time💐
The fact that you were able to write this is an indication that you've come out on the better side.
Take things slowly, and do the things that make you happy, a little at a time.
No pressure on yourself, and none from anyone else either.
All good wishes ❤️
All of us have difficult times. But life is keep moving right?
I realized we need sad times to make us stronger :)
Hey, thanks for your nice words 🌸❤️
Yes, it's best to embrace sad moments, as these are the times when life is teaching us lessons for us to grow. It's not always easy, but we'll always find a way ❤️
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I prefer hot tea in this environment, I hope you enjoyed it.
sometimes I choose hot tea too :)
Enjoy your day :)
Thank you for sharing your story and hope that you've found some healing in it as well.
Just know, you are not alone. I usually have my darker moments as well and like you I have to learn to set boundaries and I myself retreat also. I like to go through the lows on my own and let very few people in. It's something I'm working on though.
Hope you find yourself soon again and that take it easy :D
Thank you for being here ❤️
This difficult time to make me more love myself for sure 🌸❤️
💙
Take care dear 😊.
I'm sorry you have been feeling down for a while. I am also glad you are on the way to coming back to your normal happy self.
I have had a time long back where I just gave and gave and gave and received no nurturing back. I felt like I was GIVE out and drained, so I somewhat understand.
You definitely have to take yourself back. Even though this is a simple saying, I liked it when I saw one time "Take care of yourself, so that you can take care of others" Sure it is good to help take care of the ones you love when you can, but you also have to take time to take care of yourself first. It is not being selfish, because if you are torn down, you cannot help yourself OR others.
Take care !
Miss my smile? 🤭
Indeed I will (maybe go to vacation alone) :)
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