Etapas de una madre agotada y cómo afrontarlas

Etapa de Esposa: aunque nos cueste aceptarlo, casarse es una tarea compleja, requiere de mucho compromiso y mucha entrega, de nuevas responsabilidades, empezar a enfrentar no solo tus retos sino también el de tu pareja, porque ambos deben apoyarse mutuamente para salir adelante. Entonces al casarnos asumimos también en parte las responsabilidades de nuestro esposo, de alguna u otra forma él debe sentir nuestro apoyo incondicional, porque somos su ayuda idónea. Un matrimonio no puede caminar en direcciones separadas, ambos luchan por el mismo objetivo. Entonces cumplimos con nuestras tareas de esposa y al mismo tiempo aportar para mantener viva la llama de amor, para que no se ahogue con las rutinas, trabajos, pagos, hijos, cansancio, y un sinfín de dificultades, que a veces no nos permite ver con claridad el ingrediente principal que es al amor aunado a la paciencia y el respeto del uno por el otro.

Etapa de mamá: También podría llamarse la etapa de lo desconocido, porque nos enfrentamos a un mundo sintiéndonos frágiles e indefensas, por muy duro que sea nuestro carácter, avanzamos con incertidumbres, con temores, y cargamos la mayor responsabilidad de alimentar y forjar un nuevo camino para un bebé que viene sin instrucciones. Absolutamente nada es como nos lo imaginábamos, existen muchos tropiezos tantos físicos como emocionales, y aun así asumimos el reto de nuestra responsabilidad, alimentar al bebé, bañarlo, vestirlo, limpiarlo, cargarlo, calmar su llanto, juguetear con él, dormirlo, cuidar su salud, darle sus vitaminas entre otras actividades que ocupan nuestro día y no nos damos cuenta que no alcanzo el tiempo para cuidar de nosotras.

Etapa en nuestro cuerpo: quizás a mucha les pasó como a mí al pensar que su cuerpo no cambiaría tanto luego de un parto, pensar que a otras mujeres les pasó porque no supieron cuidarse, lo cierto es que nada vuelve a su lugar, y hay que esperar un tiempo prolongado para poder encausar ese cuerpo que deseamos. En mi caso tuve perdidas y aumentos de peso excesivo como nunca antes, he intentado y empezado rutinas de ejercicios que abandono en poco tiempo porque hay ocupaciones como mamá que no se pueden dejar para después y es frustrante a veces no poder lograr el objetivo que deseas con tu cuerpo, porque quizás no alcanza el tiempo o el cansancio nos desanima, sin embargo, por algo hay que empezar, lo que me ha funcionado hasta ahora y he sido constante es en bajar el consumo de calorías en mis alimentos, esto ayuda a aportar amor a mi cuerpo sin descuidar las otras etapas.

Etapa como Ama de casa: las tareas domésticas y cocinar están relacionadas históricamente con la mujer, lo que por ende como mujeres también crecemos con la ideología de que estas actividades vienen adheridas en muestro ADN, y aunque no es así, no cabe duda que siempre queremos mantener los espacios limpios y ordenados, mantener todo limpio en casa nos genera paz mental, aunque esto requiera agotamiento excesivo y en ocasiones nos auto explotemos para conseguirlo. De la misma forma mantener comida en la alacena y administrar todo lo que tiene que ver con el hogar. Dicha etapa cuando es compartida es mejor, no digo que sola no se pueda, pero no es igual.

Etapa en ocupación laboral: Esta etapa no es tan fácil de asumir, puesto que requiere de una carga mental constante, donde es imposible desligar las responsabilidades laborales con las de la familia. Es una decisión difícil dejar el cuidado de tus hijos con alguien más, sobre todo cuando existe apego en la crianza. No hay ningún horario laboral que se amolde a las exigencias de una madre y por lo tanto creamos la flexibilidad en los horarios para poder atenderlos y cuidar de ellos. Ser mama y tener un empleo ya sea dentro o fuera de casa es todo un reto, además de estar expuestas a las críticas de abandonar a tu familia por el trabajo; no obstante, solo mami sabe lo que sacrifica y lo que entrega a diario para salir adelante con su familia.

Wife stage: although it may be hard to accept, getting married is a complex task, it requires a lot of commitment and dedication, new responsibilities, to begin to face not only your challenges but also those of your partner, because both must support each other to move forward. So when we get married we also assume part of our husband's responsibilities, in some way or another he must feel our unconditional support, because we are his ideal help. A marriage cannot walk in separate directions, both fight for the same goal. So we fulfill our duties as a wife and at the same time contribute to keep the flame of love alive, so that it does not drown with routines, jobs, payments, children, fatigue, and a myriad of difficulties, which sometimes does not allow us to see clearly the main ingredient that is love combined with patience and respect for each other. Mommy stage: It could also be called the stage of the unknown, because we face a world feeling fragile and defenseless, no matter how hard our character is, we move forward with uncertainties, with fears, and we carry the greatest responsibility of nurturing and forging a new path for a baby that comes without instructions. Absolutely nothing is as we imagined, there are many stumbling blocks, both physical and emotional, and yet we take on the challenge of our responsibility, feeding the baby, bathing him, dressing him, cleaning him, carrying him, soothing his cries, playing with him, putting him to sleep, taking care of his health, giving him his vitamins, among other activities that occupy our day and we do not realize that we do not have enough time to take care of ourselves. Stage in our body: perhaps it happened to many of you like me when you thought that your body would not change so much after childbirth, thinking that it happened to other women because they did not know how to take care of themselves, the truth is that nothing returns to its place, and you have to wait a long time to be able to channel that body that we want. In my case I had excessive weight loss and weight gain like never before, I have tried and started exercise routines that I abandon in a short time because there are occupations as a mom that can not be left for later and it is frustrating sometimes not to achieve the goal you want with your body, because perhaps not enough time or fatigue discourages us, however, something has to start, what has worked for me so far and I have been consistent is to lower the calorie intake in my food, this helps to bring love to my body without neglecting the other stages. Stage as a housewife: housework and cooking are historically related to women, which therefore as women we also grow up with the ideology that these activities come attached in our DNA, and although it is not so, there is no doubt that we always want to keep the spaces clean and tidy, keeping everything clean at home generates peace of mind, although this requires excessive exhaustion and sometimes we exploit ourselves to achieve it. In the same way to keep food in the cupboard and manage everything that has to do with the home. This stage is better when it is shared, I am not saying that it cannot be done alone, but it is not the same. Stage in work occupation: This stage is not so easy to assume, since it requires a constant mental load, where it is impossible to separate work responsibilities from those of the family. It is a difficult decision to leave the care of your children with someone else, especially when there is attachment parenting. There is no work schedule that fits the demands of a mother and therefore we create flexibility in schedules to be able to attend and care for them. Being a mother and having a job either inside or outside the home is a challenge, besides being exposed to the criticism of abandoning your family for work; however, only a mother knows what she sacrifices and what she gives every day to get ahead with her family.

Conclusión

The value of a mother and her sacrifices are reflected in her children, everything we give and the commitment we assume is for them and for them, with our virtues and our mistakes we always want to do it in the best way without wanting to let go of that space as a woman that we want to enjoy every day, and it is not that mommy comes first, but that mommy also matters, and sometimes we judge ourselves for wanting a space to rest from the routine and we feel selfish for thinking that way. We cannot get rid of these roles, but we can improve them every day, transform them, because we are also capable of that. Until a future publication my dear readers.