How do I move forward after losing my child?

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Hello everyone,
Yesterday, I attended my cousin's engagement ceremony which was held at his house and attended by many from our extended family.
My cousin and I are very close, especially with Cici (the sister of the engaged) when we were children, we went to the same school, from the playground to junior high school.
Even when we were little, we often stayed at each other's house alternately.
Until the time of marriage, cici and I were only 1 year apart in marriage and that was a close time.

When I returned home after attending the engagement ceremony, I remembered a photo I took with Cici's daughter, named Aisyah, she is the first child of Cici who is now 3 years old. I took photos of Aisyah with various styles, because my niece really likes to take pictures, she is very smart in this regard.

I opened the photo file and remembered a memory I had buried three years ago. Cici and I are both pregnant, I am pregnant with our second child and she is pregnant with the first. It's still very clear in my mind, we shared about pregnancy, I even gave him a mattress and yoga equipment for pregnancy exercises. Because I know, I do have an abnormality in my body, namely having a short cervix and requiring me to have total bed rest without being able to use the device for pregnant exercise.

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And I still remember very clearly, when my fetus was 6 months old, I was admitted to the hospital and had a normal delivery because this cervical incompetence made my child unable to be helped. Cici came with a big belly, was 7 months pregnant and encouraged me to have to endure my condition at that time.

Every time I see Aisyah, I reminisce about those difficult times, so when I see Aisha's smile, I remember my son who has passed away. This sadness appeared, but not sadness because it was not sincere, this sadness appeared because of a deep longing for my son Hassan. I named my son Hassan, which has many good meanings.

There were tears in my eyes, and my heart was saying, if Hassan survived now, his age was the same as Aisyah, they would be playmates, schoolmates, friends to share stories with, and would be close cousins, just like her two mothers used to be.

Maybe, she will be as big as Aisyah, cheerfully when she runs, talks very funny, and acts like a normal child. Hassan will be a happy child because I am his mother who loves him very much.

Every time I carry Aisyah, she is very happy, and I feel Aisyah as our intermediary to remember our son in heaven, because we have considered Aisyah as our own child.

Hassan, thank you for being a good child, for accepting me to be your mother even though we only had a short time in mother's womb, mother loves you very much, also with Hussa's sister. We will meet on the other side soon. With Dad, Mom and you two. Thank you for accepting us as parents.



See you in the next one.

Editing by: Lighroom by Iphone 11




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1 comments
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the photo is very good, the niece is beautiful, thank you for sharing a very good story

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