Being A Mother Regardless of the Distance
The child never asked nor wished to be born in this world. Whatever hardships and challenges that the parents are currently suffering, they are out of it, more especially the mistakes that the parents did. A child's innocent soul shouldn't be dragged into the life of a parent that is full of bitterness. Indeed, at least, that's what I'm thinking. The parents' job to take care of their children is never easy, then what's more being a single-parent? You're being a Mom and at the same time the Dad to your child. It's fine if they are still little kids, they wouldn't notice that, but when they grow up, they will surely be aware of it and get curious of everything.
I'm just thankful that my family is there for me and taking most of my responsibility in taking care of my child for now. Yeah, I know that most of what happened to me was also my fault and that's why I don't want those mistakes to haunt me and my daughter will get dragged into it. No matter how much of a rebel I was, it's not in my conscience to involve an innocent to live with me in most of her life, suffering also with how messed up my life is.
My daughter is the main reason why I'm changing my life. Even if I have to change the directions of my perspectives about life overnight, I have done it for her sake. There is no room for me to just sulk in the corner of my room anymore thinking why the world is unfair to me. I can't insert breakdowns in my schedule, nor stare at nowhere in the midst of stress and pressure.
Since she came, I'm trying hard to fix my life because I believe that if I can have a good future, she can ride together with me to wherever my life is going. Now, I'm here studying in a place which is an hour away from her and doing side hustles along with it. It's never in my intentions to leave her in my parents' care alone but I have to. If only our place is located near the schools or in the metro where all businesses can give me more job opportunities, I surely didn't leave home and have been always with her everyday.
Well, instances nor fate aren't always in my favor and that's the thing that I have to deal with. Yet, whatever it may beat me up, I shouldn't set aside the fact that I am now a parent raising a child alone. I shouldn't forget whatever responsibilities and obligations I have now. Even if I'm here far from her, here's what I'm doing to still perfom what I must have been doing as her mother supposedly at her side.
No matter how bad the network signal in our place is, that isn't a reason still not to contact them regularly. Everyone in the family has a phone and lately they gave one of their old phone to my daughter. It is the one which I often used to contact her. She also used it to download YouTube videos about nursery rhymes and cartoons but I always told them to limit her screen time. Gladly, she is a sweet, kind, obedient girl. She always listens to what my family and me will tell her.
I always try to make time for her in my vacants days where I wouldn't have classes or work. I would call her in the morning and talk to her over phone for a few hours. Then, I will always asked about her health and checked whatever she needed. I'm just lucky that my child isn't fond of material things that much. She never asked for a toy but will just play any toy that we will offer.
Presence Amidst The Busyness
My schedule is pretty hectic, now that classes are starting and I have to do my side hustles after that. A good time management is a must for me to do all of this; perks of being an adult, too. No matter how busy I am, I still made sure that I can go home and spend time with her despite the hustle and bustle here in the city. I will set a date to go home one or twice a month to see her and bring the things that she needs since my Mom can't always go in town to buy them all. It is quite the disadvantage of living in the countryside, everything is away from you including your noisy neighbors.
My daughter is quite silent most of the time and you can't forced her to speak if she doesn't want it; to where did she inherit that trait is pretty obvious. Whenever, I'm home she will come to me and will stick with me most of the time but silent if she doesn't have anything to say. Yet, it doesn't discourage me to keep our bonds tightly always. It even assures me that she still recognize me of being her biological mother.
I can still remember how my brothers would tease me that she doesn't recognize me anymore when I was working much far away from where I am now that was last year. The love that she is getting from them is much different from mine and I know that she is much used with them since they are always together. All I'm just hoping is that she will always remember me as her mother that never stops thinking for her welfare.
Distance Can't Hinder A Mother's Love
I agree and have understood this ever since I became one. It is just your body that is away but your mind, soul, and heart are always with your child no matter where you are. In whatever you do, it is for them. In anytime of the day, you worry for them. You can't stop thinking if they are fine since you can't see them. These are the disadvantages of a long distance parenting. A thing that I'm wishing and hoping that my daughter will understand why I'm doing this someday when she grows up.