I am not sure if I should be writing this, should I be writing this? Am I a bad person for writing this? No, no, no, I am not a bad person I am simply writing this because...

Dammit, I can't think of a good reason I am writing this. I am just writing this because I love to write. That is what I do. I don't know what to do. It's the only thing that can keep me calm. I don't know what else to do. I can't vividly describe how I feel after what just happened. But my body is shaking and my head is aching. My eyes are red. The last place I should be right now is here, but yet here I am, In front of the screen doing the last thing I should be doing, typing? No not typing, documenting, yeah I am documenting. Documenting a grim incident. Documenting the incident now that it is still fresh in my head.

It's not my fault, It's not my fault, I keep telling myself it's not my fault but is it my fault? ok maybe it's not my fault, but I can't help but feel like I could have done better. Maybe I'd have saved a life. Or maybe I'd have saved everyone. It all happened in less than a second, there was no time to react. It was the normal human instinct of self-preservation that saved me.

Ok, enough of the internal battles, let me narrate what happened. It was just another usual day in the hostel. Woke up, cleaned up, and went to class, nothing unusual there, but it was after classes it all began. On my way into the hostel I looked up and there it was, the big crane-like construction right beside the hostel. It was massive, almost the size of a building. Apparently, they were building a structure right beside the hostel. Just as I looked at the structure a thought came to mind.

"Just imagine what would happen if the contraption fell into the hostel"

I quickly shrugged the thought away. I couldn't be having these types of thoughts. I went to my room and took a rather long nap to regain my already low energy level. I woke up soaked with sweat. Seems the electricity went out while I was asleep. I picked up my phone, it was 4 pm. I only needed to sleep for an hour, and now I slept for two instead. I had an engagement in thirty minutes and I was too sweaty to go there like that. I quickly jumped down from the bed, got undressed and put on my towel. I picked up my towel, a bucket and all the things I needed to have my bathe. Then I walked downstairs to the courtyard at the other side of the hostel where we fetch water. It was crowded and there was a long queue. I put my bucket in the queue, walking around restlessly thinking about how much time I would spend in the line.

"I'm going to be so late for this meeting." I thought to myself as I paced back and forth.

I am not exactly sure why, but all of a sudden I looked up and there it was the crane-looking construction. As I stared at it it felt like it was staring back at me. I was trying to stop myself from having bad thoughts but I couldn't. I immediately ran out of the courtyard and in a split second I heard a loud thud from right behind me. I looked back and the entire courtyard had been wrecked. Water splashing from the burst pipes, rubble, and... blood. There were people in the courtyard. Tears began flowing from my eyes. I should have said something, I shouldn't have thought that way. I felt numb, I just stood still. Watching as people gathered around, security and healthcare personnel came around clearing the place, checking for life.

I don't know how to explain it, but somehow I feel like I am responsible, and I feel so terrible. But yet here I am writing... no documenting what happened barely hours after what happened.

Oh my God, I am a horrible person.

N/B: Usually I'd just add the fiction tag, but I feel the need to state it here again because I know some won't see it.

This is purely fiction

Hopefully, everyone see this.

THANKS FOR READING

_{Cover image is Ai art created by me using Nighcafe}

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