For An Inhuman Mind

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(Edited)

The last time I saw her she said she wants to kill me, that time I felt awkward. But now I want her to do that, I need someone to kill me, I want to escape from this world of chaos. Everything around me is almost the same as I started the journey, but there's a lot of confusion about its existence. I couldn't find anything real about it. In it's a basic state, everything seems like some kind of a thing without any real reason for existence.

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I've always doubted my impulses, I feared a lot. There's a lot of things I have written down not to do while I'm acting from an impulse. Maybe it's the foolish things I have done in the past which forces me to do that, still, I don't believe my impulses. Whenever I want to make a decision I usually wait, show some patience. Then I will find the solution to the problem after relaxing a bit.

It also wasn't a real answer. Sometimes patience isn't just enough to go forward. Sometimes one needs to make decisions as fast as he can. When it's late, there's no meaning in finding a solution. When it's late, it's over. I always considered this kind of stupid thoughts as irrelevant. I tried to ignore them. I thought that I don't need to go this much deep about my thought process.

She always told me from the beginning that this kind of thinking is not at all good. It will last in a lot of trouble. I tried to ignore her, She was some kind of an escape route for me. Whenever I want to escape from this all headaches I become dependent on her. Her voice and the flow that follows it, everything was magical.

When I look back I feel like she was the only one who cared about me when I say cared about me, there's a lot more about it. For each of my small stupidities, she started scolding me and told me to act like a brave one. On those initial days, she put all her effort to make me a human as much as she can. Then after a certain level, I become more human than she was. And that made all the difference.



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Patience goes a long way, sometimes impulse takes you further when doing something your strongly feel needs to be done.

Life is a journey, one foot in front of the other finding ones own way never look back for another takes a different path @badfinger, that path may not be for you.

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It's hard for me to decide whether this is about you or it is prose fiction. In any case, I don't think we need any reason to exist for us or anything else. This line of thought is lonely and scary but beautiful too — with so many possibilities.

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Poetry, autobiography, or both?

For myself, the she you speak of is alcohol. She helped me so much. And then she turned on me and was hell bent on my destruction. I loved her, but had to leave her behind. She wasn't real. Other people are.

Great writing and description of certain emotions.

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that was nice reading. love to hear your side of the story.

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A very interesting story. I love the woven intrigue. Well done!

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A very interesting story. I love the woven intrigue. Well done!

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That makes you think about impulses and the place of patience.
Ah - to be human! Is this a continuation from a story?

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I really liked this narrative. Very well done! It caught my full attention.

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