Nothing makes me happy | Maybe I don't need anything

I always made a step towards everything, the number of books that I have read only the first chapter will be very much higher than an average reader read. In fact, I am not that much of a reader, I read very rarely and for me, everything is just based on impulse. I make a lot of stupid decisions on impulse. Most of them were mild ones, so didn't impact that much me in life.

source

As I said, I am not much of a controlled person, I get excited about things very easily. A good ad can really attract me, like even if something I'm seeing costs a hundred times more than that I have. Yeah, that's the purpose of an Ad. I'm not talking about just the Ads, even if it is in the case of people saying something I could get easily fooled. It's not about being fooled, It's more like I don't think anyone has to lie to me. I know it's a stupid thought, but I really feel that way.

So If someone tells me a story I will remember each part of it and later when I think about it, it feels like something's missing. These are even rare times, It really takes very much time for me to understand the reality of things. This is also a general kind of feeling, but I'm a little extreme at it.

I think it's somewhere near the end of my high school education I really got an idea of the word "passion" and then later I discovered tons of content made about it on social media and mostly everywhere. Those were the times I really felt that there was a job that I can do and it will never feel like a job and I don't have to work hard for the rest of my life. These words mostly came out of Entrepreneurs and Hollywood stars, later I realized that everyone has a say on it. Each celebrity tries to say their view of life and shares it with the world, in some way they kind of think that they have the right to talk about it.

At first, I really felt very motivated when listening to them, kind of got pumped while listening them. Then after months, you realize that they are also just dumb people, the difference was they got a mic to say it to the world. I'm not talking about all of them, but most of them. And I'm not criticizing them, everyone is flawed, I'm just talking about how they share their view of life and say that that is the right view.

In the middle of this search for getting motivated, I saw people who are great people but don't share much about these things, the people who never tried to motivate anyone much. Now when I see them I really could understand them, they also don't know what to do with life. They are also searching for something.

Later I realized that everything could not be learned from a teacher, everyone is there to help you, but you have to find the way you want to live your life. I always searched for a teacher for everything, even how to live life. Even if I'm the only one who knew what was happening around me. That was a big lesson, still, I am stuck at evaluating myself and upgrading but I realized in some kind way.

Sometimes one doesn't have a passion or something they are born for, but they could find things that they can do better than most others and feel little pleasure while doing it. It's also not a big joy ride, there will be also tons of problems one has to face, but you will be ready to face those cause of your primary aim.

It's a totally different state than those motivational speakers offer, It's more real. And also I believe that simply a profession cannot define a person, a person could grow a lot from it, but there are a lot of other things that complete a human.