Window Towards The Muddy Road

I waited for her alone in that house, the intensity of the rain was increasing in each second. And that's taking all the hope inside me. I'm looking at that one and only muddy path through which one could reach my home. The path is empty, the rain had made the road harder to walk on. But I still have a hope that she would come. In this rain, the coldness, I can't think of any happy moments of my life. Rain is always about the sad moments in my life.

source

Poverty is one important thing that flashes into my mind in the first place when it's raining. I still clearly don't know how that's related. I can't simply say she is a pleasant memory, it's a good memory. But there is some pain in my heart when thinking about it. So I can't simply say it's a pleasant one.

Rainy days are the ones I still could remember clearly from the past. I still have the clarity of those things. I still remember her passing my classroom, I peek through the window just to see that face, there will be a glance. But it didn't last for that much time. But I still could visualize those split-second moments. The visualisation could go deeper into the intense feeling.

She had a differing kind of eyes, they were too small and also open with some kind of grace. I felt like those eyes were searching for something always. Maybe it's searching for someone to love, that was my thought at that time. But it changed over time. I think it all changed when I started talking to her. She isn't that much romantic, neither I was. Eventually, she changed my mind also. There was a moment where I stopped defining our relationship.

I believe that nothing could be defined, any feeling. There is no such thing as true feelings. Everything is completely different for each eye, things could become far different as one starts to grow. The way I see the feeling "Love" is far different from years before. I came at a point that it isn't a thing that could be simply defined. I think the words aren't enough, it only makes it more complex.

I'm still looking at the muddy road, I still couldn't see her coming. I can't go out and look for her, I really felt helpless. Then I slowly started understanding that fact that maybe she won't come. It's just all my thoughts, I may have gone far away from reality. I started closing the window, all of a sudden a face emerged on that road. It looks familiar but feels something peculiar.