🤯 SECRETS OF A DIRTY SALESMAN : If everyone hates them, why did I choose to BE one??? 🤔

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"Everybody hates a SALESMAN!"

You've surely heard the news. And that dreaded word...

"Selling..."

It sounds slimy-er than roadkill. It's a dastardly curse to avoid. So rotten, most of us can smell it from a mile away. 🦨


"...a salesman, heh? Sounds like something that crawled out of a swamp..." Says one man, chuckling to himself. "Never falling into THAT muck again!"

A second man chimes in, "Dirty, rotten, snail-eating SALESMAN!!!" He stammers, as he wipes bitter tears from his red cheeks and tries to regain his composure. "I'll show 'em next time!"

Man #2 gently strokes his injured wallet as he recedes quietly into the shadows - broken. Ashamed.


Let's be honest...

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You and I have both probably been Man (or Woman) #2 at some point, right?

You opened up your dearly awaited package and began testing out the product you were so excited to receive, only to discover it was dreaded "snake oil" in disguise.

You scramble to check what the advertisement said, only to find yourself dumbfounded by what you read...

It seems the marketers used "tricky" language. Its legality is downright questionable. But you have to admit... it doesn't really say it does a certain thing.

But that's the only thing you really needed it to do! How could you have missed that?

And when you call the company, they put you on hold for 3 hours before telling you they can't help because "the product was delivered as advertised."

But here's the thing...

Man #2 is often fictional. The truth?

In reality, many of us hide our heads when we make a bad purchase. Instead of complaining about it, we pretend like nothing's happened. We tell no one.

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Not our friends. Not our spouses. Not even ourselves... Why?

Because we look at our misfortune as some twisted, self-inflicted agony that occurred when we chose to FAIL. As if that was our express intention.

After all, you should have seen it coming. And you've gotta' take responsibility for your actions, right?

So.. it cuts you deep - and because you pretend the pain doesn't exist - it never mends. Your gaping wound throbs and slowly festers.

All the while, more salesman bounce things into your face - reopening the wound - deepening the bitterness.

Everywhere you look, it's:

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"CLICK HERE!"

"GET THIS THING YOU DON'T NEED NOW! YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT!"

"LOOK AT THIS NEW THING! (really an old thing in a new color) NO ONE'S EVER DONE THIS BEFORE!"

"GIVE ME YOUR MONEY! ASK QUESTIONS LATER!"

"FIND OUT OUR MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE IS COMPLETELY WORTHLESS BECAUSE WE ADDED BARELY-LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL LEGAL!"


...and eventually...

Your eyes gloss over at all of it. You trust no one. And nothing really interests you anymore. That dirty salesman has changed you.

He's turned you into a cold, cold skeptic.

Some Good News?

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For the most part, these companies won't last.

They'll hurt a few hundred (or thousand people) and then they'll disappear into the stacks of dried up, failed businesses that make up around 80% of startups within the first 10 years.

Often these companies are built by self-absorbed egomaniacs who haven't the slightest understanding of what their actual customer wants or needs.

They're the "get rich quick" - shove my product down people's throats because "who wouldn't want THIS!" kind of people...

So... why would I become a salesman?

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First, let's get this straight... I'm actually a copywriter. I don't call random people and annoy them on the phone. I don't galavant around a car lot as if I'm running the carnival.

"...here ye! Here ye! Step right up and try our new hair oil! It's so strong, your wife will grow a mustache!

No. I do nothing of the sort.

What I do... is use writing to connect with, educate, and assist people on the buyer's journey.

I help business owners who have real value to deliver to their customers explain that value in a way that's best for the customer. It's completely focused on the buyer (customer-led growth).

That's ALL I do...

People often refer to my job as "sales-in-print."

And NO. I don't write obnoxious ads like the ones I've described earlier in this article. It's not my style and I discourage businesses from doing those things any time I get the chance.

Now... let's get into some of the reasons why I do this...


4 reasons WHY I do what I do:

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  • #1: Some products and services really help people

  • #2: Some businesses / founders actually care

  • #3: The world needs better marketing for better products

  • #4: Marketing drives innovation


Reason #1: Some products and services really help people

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Aside from all the crappy products and $2 salesman out there - you've surely experienced some products or services that you love, haven't you?

Some of them you probably use every day. Maybe it's your favorite car - the one that drives like a wet dream.

Maybe it's your coffee maker that brews the perfect cup at exactly 6:30 AM and never misses daylight savings time.

"...mmmmm.... good morning..."

Maybe it's one of those nifty air fryers that helps you eat healthier (without the grease), and you consequently live longer and feel better...

Maybe it's a fancy blender that can pulverize a block of concrete in 3 seconds... or a new diet plan that helps you shed those unwanted pounds and look sexy again.

It could be a meditation plan that's really helped you de-stress after work - which leads to better quality of life, better sleep, better relationships, better... everything...

Whatever your favorite products, they really do improve your life.

And the truth is:

...the only thing marketing is supposed to do is connect the people who will benefit most from a product with all the knowledge they need to take advantage of it.

Alright... next reason... *queue drumroll... 🥁

Reason #2: Some businesses / founders actually care

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I recently signed a contract with an amazing client.

He's a Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP) - which is a fancy way of saying:

"He helps high school kids who have autism, receptive disorders, processing disorders, and speech problems to overcome their issues and develop strategies and skills they'll carry with them throughout their lives..."

His mission?

To "transform" and improve the way SLPs connect with, engage, and help their students overcome, thrive, and become more self-sufficient.

Every fiber of this guy's being is bent on helping these kids and helping other SLPs to do the same in unique ways that utilize technology.

It's quite amazing.

And because I'm a copywriter - I get to help him get signups for the course he'll be using to teach this stuff. It's something I can truly stand behind - and that's worth it.

That's one of my absolute favorite parts of this job.

I get to meet new people with unique dreams and aspirations who love others and are driven to change the world.

Granted, not everyone fits that criteria - but I'm a solopreneur so if the client doesn't line up, guess what?

I just pass them by...

Next point?

Reason #3: The world needs better marketing for better products

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The world needs marketing. It just doesn't need marketing that destroys businesses and lives.

In a typical company, Sales and Marketing (S&M) makes up about 60% of operating costs (that's the money which is spent to run the business excluding production or overhead costs).

That's a huge chunk.

And that's because without S&M - no one could discover the new products and services that exist.

Which brings us to the next point...

Reason #4: Marketing drives innovation

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On July 1st, 1941 the first television commercial aired.

It was released during a game between the Philidelphia Phillies and the Brooklyn Dodgers - and the commercial advertised Bulova Watches.

Before mass marketing, we had less of a choice on what items we could buy. It wasn't the customer who decided. It was the big companies who had little competition who decided what we'd buy and what the price would be.

But mass marketing opened up the door to new companies, new products, and new innovation. And remember that 1941 commercial? How much do you think it cost?

Answer: Bulova spent somewhere between $4 and $9 to make the commercial. And during its 10-second play time, about 4,000 New Yorkers suddenly had Bulova Watches on their mind. How many sales did it make?

I have no clue. But for under $10 bucks, that's about a $2.50 CPM (or cost per 1,000 impressions). According to Nielson, the average CPM of an ad today is approximately $25 - or 10X more expensive...

So what a deal!

But then came along advertising platforms like Facebook and Google which provide CPMs sometimes at an even lower rate than that (depending on industry and the current bidding climate).

And not only did they provide affordable advertising - they made it possible to target people by interests.

Suddenly, innovative companies and startups had a way of targeting the people who might actually be interested in the products they were selling.

It no longer costed hundreds of thousands of dollars to start a business. Because with some hard work and dedicated learning, anyone (including you) could feel out the market, find a need, solve that problem, and launch a business with only a few thousand bucks (or less in some industries).

So SO MANY cool inventions, services, courses, and more have risen on the backs of those advertising platforms.

My point?

When you know innovation can pay off... and you don't need one of a select few of angel investors to get started... you INNOVATE!

And I think that's a good thing for our culture and technological/digital evolution as a whole.

But I'll Let You In On A Secret...

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I do more than just write.

When a client signs on with me, I generally ask them a number of questions and do my best to work with them - interview their customers - and discover improvements that can be made in the offer.

After all, we're trying to make sure people are satisfied - FOR REAL.

And to do that, we need to come up with offers that can't be refused. NOT because we yell and scream at people to "BUY STUFF!"

...but because we deliver incredible value to them.

That's what I believe sales should be all about. And that's what I'll always be striving for.

There are plenty of other reasons I do what I do... like... it's cool to get paid to write stuff that's fun to read...

I mean... what in the world???

It's a job to do this?????? LOL.

But anyway...

This has been a glimpse into what I do. Hope you loved it.

Double Cheers!
@badseedalchemist.

P.S. Feel free to engage with me! (...or call me a "dirty, dirty salesman"... whatever you wish...) 😊



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