Lose and Find Yourself - inkwell prompt #12

Do you believe in life's coincidences dear reader? Is it something that really happens by chance, or are there some forces operating in the background of your existence that sometimes help you get back on track...?

Well, here is my brand new real life story that just happened today:

LOSE AND FIND MYSELF

I have actually been sick for16 days now. The first time I was just sleeping, then it got better but I wasn't really capable of anything. Actually it is "only" a flu virus and yet there is much more going on in my life right now. Especially the last week I had even more and more the feeling as if I had lost myself somewhere and would slowly but surely slip into a real depression.
Yet somehow I didn't care. I didn't care about anything, just sleeping.
Reading? Writing? Dreaming? Living? Yes. That was before and will come again someday. That's about my state of mind where I've been the last few days.

Tonight I had just spent a little time on the Blockchain. Noticing that once you're not active on a regular basis, your notification feed can get very very, even veeeeeeeery quiet.
"Oh yeah, how quickly would you be forgotten if you stopped posting?"
came to mind. Of course, I knew that thought was nonsense, because quite a few lovely people had already let me know they missed me.
But when your feelings sink into a depressive hole, all your knowledge is of no use.

So I took a quick look in Discord to see what I might have missed. And just at that moment - by chance - a message from Shadows popped up in the dreemport channel:

" Okay everyone it's time to start PYPT "

Me: "Hm, what, it's already Thursday? What happened to Tuesday and Wednesday this week?" I was about to turn my back on discord again, but something stopped me and after some hesitation I joined the voice channel.

And what can I say, I am so glad I joined. It was such a treat to listen to Shadows, to see Kitty and Dreemie chatting, to just listen to Bluefinnstudios talk about his beloved garden and plans.

Through a post by raj808 https://ecency.com/hive-158694/@raj808/atuman-spirit-of-the-sunset-poetry-and-digital-art I became aware of an interesting tool that allows you to virtually edit your images. The https://deepdreamgenerator.com/ aroused my interest.

Last but not least the ladies even managed to get me on voice, which is clear for everyone who knows me: "No easy task!" ;-)

I also became aware of this non fictional prompt of the inkwell community and the dreemport challenge through the PYPT. And of course, this week's prompt fit perfectly with my current situation:

The Ink Well Creative Nonfiction Writing Prompt #12: In Search of SELF.

And suddenly it came back, this desire to write something, to post something on hive and to be active again.

Now, of course, I've been thinking about how Shadows managed to drag me out of my hole (Without even knowing). The answer is amazingly simple:
Of course I have good friends and family, they all want to help and just as naturally they shower me with advice. "Have you tried this.... " "Why don't you try this..." and so on, you've probably heard a lot of those phrases before.

Well, what came as a Discord message? Plain and simple.

"Okay everyone it's time to start PYPT"

Not - we are starting now, come on over. Not - don't you want to be a part of it? Especially not - you could try to be part of it!

Our language is so powerful, we often underestimate it and I realize more and more that I have to pay more attention to how I formulate something again.

And so the Dreemers, without knowing it, managed to lure me a step far out of my hole to see the light and the surroundings again. Very nice match to this topic is this AI Photo, which I generated with the prompt "loose and find yourself" on deep dream generator:

Of course, in this short time, only a few hours, I have not completely and totally found myself. Rather, I am convinced that this whole stupid illness actually has only one goal, to bring me back more to my real self and to the life of my dreams, from which I have strayed very far the last few years.

But it feels like my dear online friends have dragged me out of the hole and here, from the top of this hole, everything looks very different again. Full of possibilities and options to choose quite easily and very simple, piece by piece and step by step - further on the search for my true self.

Many thanks and Love to Shadows, Kitty, Dreemy and all the other participants of the PYPT :-)

photo generated by me with https://deepdreamgenerator.com/