Family Unit

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My mother and her siblings did not have the best of relationships. For starters, as the eldest child, she did not grow up with them. When she was ten years old, her parents handed her over to her uncle in Edo state (Benin).

Her immediate younger sister was the one who grew up with the rest of their siblings, except their only brother at the time, who was also taken away to live with another relative in Warri when he was five.

Back then, it was not uncommon for relatives to pick up children from their family units, and help the parents raise them, especially in giving these children mostly from the rural areas an opportunity to quality education.

Fast-forward to adulthood, you could see that the connection is not really there between my mother and her siblings.

The thing is, they would rather regard my mom's immediate younger sister who grew up with them, leaving my mom to be more or less a ceremonial senior.

They do not carry my mom and their brother along in anything family related. They would have already reached a conclusion and even at the verge of execution before they will casually inform my mom and uncle what's on ground.

Occasionally, it will be their Kinsmen that will mandate them to inform my mom and uncle as tradition demands, since they are both considered the representative of the family.

My mother and uncle, on the other hand, do not see eye to eye.

Their sibling rivalry was something else, as they were always at each other's throat. They do not tolerate themselves at all, especially because my uncle was always antagonizing their parents even in death that they gave him away and abandoned him in the care of his foster parents.

He would always say their parents never loved him and as such he doesn't regard them as his parent.

According to him, he only has one parents which is his foster parents and this always angered my mom as she felt their parents did what was best for them at the time.

Once while their father was already late, their mother visited. Then, my uncle just got a job with Shell police at Ogunu and their mother came to celebrate with him.

My grandmother was putting up with my mom, and she insisted my mom carry her to my uncle's place of work, since my uncle was not coming to see her after being informed of her arrival.

On getting to my uncle's workplace, they were told he was out, so my mom left a message that when he comes, they should tell him his mom and elder sister came.

They were all surprised at the message because the people my uncle had introduced as family were his foster parents and their children.

One of my Uncle's colleagues went further to ask if my mom is also a child of the foster parents.

My mom told him no, pointing to their mother and told the man the foster father is her uncle who happens to be an elder brother to their mother.

At the close of work, all hell broke loose as my uncle carried the fight to my mother's house and started creating a scene, saying all sorts against my mother.

For the respect my mom has for their mother and not wanting to do anything to trigger her memory of their late father, she kept her cool.

Their mother tried to calm him down, but she was insulted and ignored.

My uncle kept yelling on top of his voice to the hearing of my mother's neighbors calling her a dullard and all sort.

He even called my grandmother an imposter and this angered my mom a lot, as he was warning my grandmother never to come look for him again.

At the peak of my uncle's madness, this lady, a neighbor to my mom, bought the matter and challenged my uncle, calling him a liar.

In my mom's defense, she told everyone who cares to listen that my works with Delta state government and on several occasions my mom has done work for her. She went further to say that if my mom is a dullard like he's claiming, she won't hold such a sensitive position in her office.

She further shamed my uncle, calling him a liar. Embarrassed, my uncle got into his car and zoomed off.

That act of my uncle further aggravated the hatred between him and my mom. But after my grandmother died, and they needed to bury her, their kinsmen demanded settlement between my mom and my uncle and also with the rest of their siblings as they said they cannot bury their mother having a rift between them.

This story amongst several others is one of the bitter experiences my mom would often share with us as the reason she did not give us away to relative while they were coming for us.

She would often say even if there's no money, we would starve together than us growing with other people.

When my brother and I started off being at each other's throat, my mom was able to notice and set us on the right part of love and unity.

This is my response to the Mayinleo prompt day 6, check out inleo growth to be part of the the daily task.

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