Sharing financial details and Finances as spouses good or bad? (LOH# 145)

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(Edited)

In my personal opinion i want everyone to be financially independent even like working women or house wives they shouldn't be dependent on anyone for money .

As you know life can give you unpredictable situations like if your other half dies ,what if they divorce you or cheat . Most of the domestic violence cases are not reported because the women endure it just because they have no where to go to no way to earn . They endure to be in that abusive situation so its really important especially for a woman to be financially independent .

Should women share finance and share their personal money ? I believe if you are living in the house men should help around in chores and women should definitely help around in paying bills or any service they can do its between the couple to decide who pays what and who does what chore .
How ever sharing financial details is a big No-No for me . I have seen women saving money daily and making a joint account in banks with their husbands only to find out one of them actually used them all on a personal thing . Which is bad but sometimes that can happen.

So one of my friends husband and her had a joint account and they both used to save money in it for the future of their kids and she was now planning on having kids . As she was pregnant and had a few complications in her pregnancy she saved for the worst times too the job she had didn't approve her maternal leave and so she left the job . She was very much at ease knowing that she has savings and nothing is to worry about .

Now the husbands family had his sisters wedding and they emotionally black mailed the guy to give the sister a car in A dowry gift (dowry is illegal and highly frowned upon but people still get greedy and want it) so he agreed and bought a car without discussing it with his wife and he didn't want to make her worry he thought that he will put the savings back before she knows when he gets his salary . Now the thing was the wife had an early labour nd her situation got really bad the guy asked his company to give him the salary in advance and they didn't approve it the savings was way less than the medical fees and now when her husband went to his parents they refused to give him any money at all .
The situation was saved because his wife did have gold jewelry and he sold some of it . Gladly the life of my friend and her baby was saved but she had a c-section and was just heart broken when she was told the truth about the whole savings being used and how her jewelry was sold . She regretted trusting her husband on finances .

Its not bad to keep savings together but definitely if you're saving for a cause .It s better to have n own account and your own money . Better safe then sorry.

Thank you for your precious time and support ❤️

Blindly trusting people is bad even if it is an spouse everyone has a priority and some people like her husband leave todays work on tomorrow .

Thank you for your precious time and support ❤️

Picture source : pixabay
https://pixabay.com/photos/piggy-bank-saving-money-young-woman-850607/

https://pixabay.com/photos/couple-money-bills-prize-happy-5156442/

https://pixabay.com/photos/money-bills-calculator-to-save-256312/



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21 comments
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(Edited)

It's sad that it turned bad for her. The husband was too selfish by not discussing with her about the dowry and it's their money which should be useful for both of them not the extended family

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Exactly and well the most disturbing thing was that he used her n his money and didn't even ask her thats so selfish .Tbh women should be careful

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Yea,we need to be very careful so we don't fall prey to bad men

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For a car as dowry to his sister? That doesn't guarantee him taking from the money he kept together with his wife especially without her permission, too bad really!

Thanks for participating sis.

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I wish the guy would be more considerate to his own baby and wife 😣

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I guess there are a couple of different ways to look at it. My wife and I have separate bank accounts but we each have the other's name on the account too so it could be accessed if needed. But I look at it this way: If you can't trust your spouse, you probably shouldn't be married to them.

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But people loose that trust mostly after marriage because the partner isn't considerate about the other half . Taking decisions a. Without discussing and keep up things from one another is a really messed up things. You're a great man but some men and women are just gold diggers and can be shady

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I agree that can sometimes happen. But if you end up in a marriage in which you cannot trust each other, either the marriage will not last or it will be miserable. Hiding financial info is just treating a symptom. It won't cure the disease.

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Oh how I would wish the husband would bring the 'Need' up with his wife rather than keeping it to himself and damaging the trust between them. Personally, I built some emergency savings for ONLY two purposes; Emergency home repair and Health Emergencies. No one else outside my family knows of it.
Thanks for sharing @biyaawnur

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Thats so essential because tbh emergencies come without a sign .
I wish she would have atleast set her phone to receive texts when money is withdrawn blind trust can lead to such an heart break

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Reviewed and Approved for an Ecency boost. Keep up the good work!

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Hello @biyaawnur. You present an interesting case in support of your opinion that finances between spouses should be kept separate. In the case of the couple you mention, more communication and shared values should have been discussed before starting to save the money for a specific purpose. A threshold should have been set for allowable expenditures. Anything above, would have to be agreed upon. My thoughts are to always take care of your immediate family first. Then you can consider the needs of others, including family members.

The situation can go both ways. I don't feel there is a need for a separate account if both parties agree upon financial rules in the beginning. Of course, monthly expenses come first. Then spending on other items.

I would be extremely upset, say for instance, if saving for an expensive vacation or a necessary household item, then when the time came, the money was spent, and I was not informed. That is a break of trust.

It's all about communication.

I'm not saying that separate accounts should not be entered into. If the couple agree to this, then it is there relationship agreement.

I once knew a couple who had separate accounts. Both split the monthly expenses in half. When one spouse spent recklessly on undisclosed gambling and bills were not met, the other spouse grew angry. And rightly so. In any event, the other spouse paid the electricity bill. How were they to divide who would use the electricity when arguments ensued afterward. Eventually, the couple divorced. In that case, one spouse did not uphold his expected trust.

Thanks for sharing this story. A thoughtful read.

Take care and have a good weekend.

!ALIVE

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Exactly communication is needed but some times couples can be having a complicated relationship until you fully are sure that your spouse would never do that . But personally i think everyone
Should be a bit careful atleast take measures so without your permission those finances aren't used or atleast you get informed about them if not by the spouse maybe by the Bank .

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Hello @biyaawnur. I also wanted to bring to your attention the images you included in your post. You indicate that the images were taken from Pixabay. There is no direct link in your post to any of the images. This is required so that the images can be verified to have been taken from a site gives permission to use the images for commercial purposes.

Thanks for your attention to this matter.

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Hey 👋, so i just saw this and i edited the. Post and included the links to the pictures that i have used . All the pictures used are free to use and i did look up the content license of each before using . However i thought mentioning the source would be enough as adding links can discourage readers sometimes . Is there an way i can attach both picture and the link together?

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Adding links do not discourage readers. The easiest way to do this is to place the link under the image and use a superscript so that it is small writing:

image.png

This is how it will look. If you hoover over the word "Source", the link will how which site. If the read wants to verify, they just click on it.:

img_20230731_wa0035.jpg
Source

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That will really help me next time when im using images from other sources. Thank you

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