MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY PARENTS

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The parent-child relationship is a very crucial part of the development of any child. My parents and I have a very weird relationship. I grew up with loving parents who had strange ways of showing their love.

My parents are not the most educated or modern people, so of course, they lacked in some areas but still, we had this relationship where I could talk to them like my friends but also not like my friends if you know what I mean.

WHAT ROLE DID YOUR PARENTS PLAY IN MY LIFE

My parents are the perfect example of the type of parent I want to be and the type of parent I do not want to be.

They have some qualities I would love to emulate and some I would rather have nothing to do with. They are the type of parents that would never stop you from going for what you want.

My mom was always there when we needed the extra push. Well, unless she doesn't support the idea, then you have to convince her why it's good for you. My father didn't have a problem with anything as long as it makes you happy.

I feel like the freedom of choice they gave my siblings and I helped us in many ways. I started making big decisions for myself early in life. My siblings and I are all doing things we love and I think that's one important thing for every child.

HAS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENTS CHANGED OVER THE YEAR?

Over the years our relationship has gotten better or should I say my relationship with my mom. My dad and I have always been best of friends, I don't think anything will change that.

My mom on the other hand is sometimes different. We are similar in some ways, however, we do not always agree on the same things and we used to fight a lot about everything. There was a time in college, I dreaded going home for the holidays cause it meant more arguments.

As I grew older I began to understand things from her point of view and started to cut her some slack. It's not easy being a parent, you can't always get it right.

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WISH YOUR PARENTS WOULD DO (OR WOULD HAVE DONE) DIFFERENTLY?

As the middle child, I was always neglected. My needs came last, it was almost like I was invisible. I wish they would have paid some attention to some of my needs as a child and been there. I wish they had been more involved and paid attention to some of the things I needed as a child.

The fact that I was neglected is the reason I started doing things on my own, barely trusting anyone or giving them the benefit of doubt and it has affected some of my relationships with people over the years.

HOW ARE YOU SIMILAR TO YOUR PARENTS?

My mom is an introvert and has very few friends, she would rather stay at home. I am like her in that way. I like to be by myself, and allow only a few people in my space. She is feisty, has a resilient spirit and so do I.

My dad gives up on people easily. You only get a few chances to prove yourself or a conclusion is drawn without a chance of redeeming yourself. I am like that too, you could even say I am worse. Once a person misses their chance with me, they are most likely never getting it back.

HOW ARE YOU DIFFERENT FROM YOUR PARENTS?

My parents didn’t care much for personal growth. I saw them repeating the same mistakes over and again especially with disagreements. In that way, I am different from them. Whenever I have a disagreement with anyone I check myself also to know areas I didn’t do so well and work on ways to improve that aspect of my life.

DO YOU PREFER A MORE INVOLVED RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENTS OR MORE DISTANCE?

I would like a more involved relationship with my parents. We never got to that point where I felt free to talk to them about anything or even ask for their advice - which I do not consider proper. Mostly we discuss general stuff but nothing too intimate with each other.

I was having a conversation with my boyfriend about family and the rest. He said something about children not necessarily needing the best things in life, just parents who are more involved in their life and I couldn't agree more with that statement.

I enjoyed writing this piece. It was hard because it requires deep thinking and reflection into your life and the ones you care about but it is a much-needed topic. I love my parents even in areas they didn’t do so great. I am an adult now and feeling the pressure of adulthood, it couldn’t have been easy for them but they always showed up and that is most important.

These questions were raised by @selfhelp4trolls here's a link to the original post

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