STILL PUSHING...

I will graduate high school at 15, get into college at 16, graduate college when I'm 20, get a good-paying job at 21, get married at 23, be done bearing children at 30. Live happily ever after with the love of my life.

That is the dream a lot of us had while growing up - until life happened.

Life isn't always as you envisioned and that’s okay.

As children, we had pretty straightforward goals, a theoretically easy path for us to follow to achieve that goal. When we tell ourselves what we want we tend to think nothing can stop us from achieving the things we desire.

As children, we didn’t have complicated needs or wants. We saw the world in a very simple, perfect way - nothing could go wrong. So we are eager to grow older and experience life at its best, the way we dream of it before going to bed and when we wake.

As we grow older things begin to change, our needs change, our perception of things change. It doesn't end there as we begin to experience some true realities, life begins to deal with the blow that comes with growing up and being an adult.

So now that goal that felt easy to achieve, that seemed like nothing could ever stop us from achieving gets pushed aside for a little while because now we’re just trying to live through the storm, just wanting to survive another day.

Some people get depressed in the process, some lose the will to keep going and give up, some live through it feeling unfulfilled, and some find the will to get up every day and embrace the day - adulting isn’t easy. Through it all, we all learnt some valuable life lessons.

We learn to see things in a different light. To view the world not only from our point of view but also from that of others. We learn to respect boundaries, to show empathy, to be there for one another and so on.

I haven't lived for long on earth yet I began to experience adulthood at a very young age. It's safe to say that I didn't live in the warmth of childhood dreams for long. It was all about pursuing the next achievable thing on the list.

Sometimes it gets overwhelmingly difficult to keep going. Sometimes I want so desperately to go back to the times in my childhood where I had little or nothing to worry about. That time when all that mattered was getting home from school in time to watch THE PINKY AND THE BRAIN.

I tell myself on days I feel down "you're doing the best you can". Although I tell myself that, I don't listen to it because the next minute I'm worrying over something I have no control over. It's an endless circle.

Nonetheless, one thing I'm certain of is the fact that it will get better or I'll find better ways to handle it. So, on days I feel like giving up, I remind myself I'm not at the end of the tunnel yet and there's light ahead. Life may not be going as planned today but it will all work out in the end.

Thanks for stopping by ❤️