Personal blog: "Days of light and shadow", by bonzopoe

Everyone considers me a resilient person, and I think I am to a certain extent, maybe not as much as people think, but I have managed to overcome what life has put in front of me, although not without emotionally paying the price, one that people do not see, but that those who experience it, know well.

I am an introverted person, and I think I like being alone more than accompanied, or at least not accompanied by any person. And it is not my intention to be derogatory, but that is how introverts are, we can even suffer not only emotionally, but even physically, with the wrong company.

Because of this, I was fortunate to not resent the confinement resulting from the pandemic as much, at least not as much as many other people suffered from it, either because of their more outgoing personality, or because of their work or family situation. But even people like me, who feel comfortable being alone, and manage with what they have to be happy, I found it difficult at times.

Today has been one of those days that warn you that you are reaching your limit, and you had not realized it. I've been in mood swings since the sun came out, and mentally I've been with one foot in the light, and one in the shadow. I planned to resume my morning walks today, and both the weather and the time I woke up (6am) allowed me to do it without much problem, but I simply got discouraged.

So I started the day off on the wrong foot. But knowing myself, I tried not to let that mark the rest of the day, and I managed to meet other objectives that I had set for myself for today, so in the end, the day has not been bad in terms of results, although it has been in its processes. I've been fighting with myself all day to do things, and being up and down intermittently without being able to avoid it.

Sometimes I have quickly managed to leave the apathy and the negative attitude, but others it has cost me more work, and I have found myself hypersensitive throughout the day, and also my empathic side has sharpened, and it is playing against me. All this has made me think of all those who, unlike me, have had a really bad time, and has allowed me to be more humble about how fortunate I am to have been able to weather the pandemic with relative ease.

The important thing today is that by knowing myself relatively well, I have been able to read the signs of what I am experiencing, I have taken matters into my own hands, and I have resorted to my bag of tricks, to all those things that I know help me manage better this type of situation, and this, externalizing it, and in the process understanding it better, is part of it.

So thank you very much for reading and being part of it. Tomorrow will be another day, and we hope it will be better, but if it is not, we will continue working, and maybe the next day will be better, or the one that follows, or the one that follows the one that follows. It is said that there is no evil that lasts a thousand years, so this will not be forever, although at times it may seem so.

A hug, and if you are going through something similar, remember that you are not alone, that there are many of us who are struggling to survive the day and when night comes, we can say that despite everything, we have had a happy day.

Thank you very much for reading this post and dedicating a moment of your time. Until next time and remember to leave a comment.