a thousand tiny ripples
Monday morning. Sitting at my desk in a large office. As others go about their work, I pay attention to the way the sun is peaking through the blinds. If I lean my head to the right, it is suddenly bright and piercing. If I lean my head to the left, it is warm and muted—yet another reminder that position and perspective change everything.
I try to impress this upon my children, the idea that the way we think about things and view things matters, but if my comments, explanations, and suggestions have had any effect on them, I haven’t been able to notice it. Yet.
Raising children is strange. You spend so much time with them, but mostly in one place (your home), surrounded by the same people (your family), so for the most part, you only see them from one angle. Who and what they are in other locations surrounded by other people, you don’t know.
Last week, a guest came to my house, an adult who has the same passion for and knowledge about soccer as my son. As soon as he mentioned the sport and let on that he was interested in it, my son become an entirely different person. He went from being slightly withdrawn and irritated to being passionate and assertive. His tone changed from being curt closed off to being polite and inquisitive.
It was fascinating to watch, and I consider myself very fortunate to have been there at that moment to see a side of my son that I had only heard of secondhand, through teachers’ comments and the things that his friends’ parents have told me.
they're at it again
their heads in the clouds
the trees here have grown
twisted and crooked
waiting by the door
for what never was
my daughter tells me
go away
before the sun rises
the day begins
a thousand tiny ripples
on the river’s surface
in brief moments and seasons
a haiku life
What a wonderful experience to have!
When our children were in high school, our house was where everyone came to hang out. We
sawoverheard them, and their friends, in their natural habitat. Kinda similar.That’s nice. When I was in the States last September, I visited my cousin, who’s the same age as me but has a son in high school. They have a basement room where all the kids come and go. Seeing that, I felt pretty envious because that’s how I grew up, too.
When it comes to parenting in Japan, I often feel a bit lost. I like to think that if I were raising my kids in the States, the cultural familiarity and common language would help guide me a bit more, but that might just be wishful thinking.
I’m so used to seeing my kids at home, where they argue, fight for attention and space, and are free to let out their pent up feelings in sometimes ugly ways, so I often wonder what they are like in public spaces when I’m not around. The moment described in this post was really nice.
I knew my son liked soccer, but I had no idea how much trivia he knows about players. It was a real eye opener.
Sounds like you need to study up on soccer ;)
Yes, I was thinking the same thing.
That is so cool, to see kids becoming their own people so to speak.
It was really like seeing a totally different person sitting in front of me. It was very reassuring. 🤣
I just mentioned in another comment that I often see my kids in our house, where they try to be spoiled or where they fight with their siblings over ridiculous things (which is what I think most people do), so it was nice to see a very different side of my son.
And the enjoyment of seeing them grow into themselves will continue. I know this as my kids are 26 and 23 and I am proud to see how they have matured. You have some good times ahead to look forward to!
I’m happy to hear that. I had sort of imagined it would happen like that, based on things my parents have said to me, but it’s nice to hear it from somewhere else too.
immersed
in brief moments and seasons
a haiku life
It's like that, isn't it. If we're lucky, I guess :)
Beautiful words as always. And the photos too... again
I tend to think of it as being very similar to mindfulness, a choice to be made many times throughout each day.
I understand that environmental factors can make it much more difficult for some people to be able to make the decision and maintain the energy needed (or the safe place required) to connect and create, but after the luck of having enough resources, the decision toward mindfulness is still necessary.
I guess what I want to say is that I acknowledge the role that luck plays in things, but more than luck, I think the recurring choice to pay attention and create is what makes a life like described in this poem possible.
I don’t mean to suggest that it is a simple life or an easy life or even a happy life, just that it is a life with moments of immersion in brevity and seasons.
You are correct. Of course.
And in a way the challenging times can actually snap us out of the dream and make us more appreciative of the present so...
And yes. Everything becomes a choice when we become more conscious that we have these.
Poetry helps :)
It’s true. And learning that you have a choice (in how you feel and respond and process things), even when all of the outside circumstances are out of your control, is a difficult thing to learn and out into practice.
i guess so. I've done so much work on this it's simply the way I do things now
We had to evacuate the village yesterday. Fires all over. At a friend's in CT for a bit. Adventures! :D
Ah... everything. outside of us is out of out control. I found the hardest part was accepting human nature and becoming compassionate. That was a nine year learning curve. Believe it or not! I think I've integrated this one fully now. :)
The city is nuts, btw. And folks don't seem to even be aware that they're stress the fuck out. It's "life" and "normal" for them. Doesn't seem at all "normal" when you've stepped out of it a bit.
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Thank you.
Haiku #6 and I'd replace "they" with "I" for my own spin ;)
Looking at life, our own thoughts, behaviors, you name it from different angles / perspectives can take us into whole new directions. Observing people get stuck in the "same old, same old" and being firmly convinced that they are evolving or changing is an interesting phenomena.
That’s a really interesting suggestion. Thank you.
Sometimes I find ways to dig deeper and turn nature poems into poems that interact with the human experience and sometimes I don’t. With this poem, I thought the images themselves would provide a possible parallel, but also felt like it was missing something.
I later changed the word connect to intersect and am currently unsure of which to use. Inserting oneself in the poem, though, that really completes it, I think.
Rather than ‘I’, I’m inclined to use ‘we’.
the way we connect (intersect)
a thousand tiny ripples
on the river’s surface
Thanks!😊
You're very welcome. "We" is excellent. As to using "connect" or "intersect", go with your intuitive intelligence. Don't let the mind over-analyze and disrupt your inner flow. Have a wonderful weekend.
I love your photographs. I could look at them for a long time, they massage my eyes.
Interesting thoughts about your children both in the story and the haiku. I know the feelings, your surprise. It never stops happening, I can tell you that.
mountains playing
trees submitting
a shovel that misses being of service
your daughter/my daughter
you, putting things in place long before I open my eyes
the connections, blinding and soothing both
the moments, your moments
Love your poems too. Especially the last. You get those moments so well.
Reading your comment, I suddenly thought, I hope the surprise works both ways. And by that, I mean, I hope that my children are as much surprised by me and the things I do as I am by them. I don’t know why, but I think that would be rewarding for some reason.
Thinking back to my childhood, I can’t say that I ever felt surprised by my parents, but I think it’s mostly because I wasn’t paying attention, not in the way that a parent pays attention to his/her children. The vantage point is totally different. It’s like comparing the view from the top of the mountain to the view from the base.
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Great poem! It is fun to see a different side of your kids. Parenthood is a lot of fun though, but definitely is a little tougher once the teenage years roll around!
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I’m getting closer and closer to the teenage years, and yes, things are changing. 🤣 I’m sure I’m in for some surprises in the not-too-distant future.
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Beautiful, your words, your stories.
It's funny how our children can act so differently around us. The rawest version of themselves, I like to think.
My girls don't hold back with me.
Xxx
It’s hard to remember at times, but I think it’s a good thing that children can feel comfortable and safe enough to let out all of their stress, frustration, and ugliness at home. If they can’t do it there, and by doing it practice releasing those big emotions, how will they ever learn how to decompress? My kids definitely don’t hold back either. 🤣