Doug and Carlos go to the mountains
Alright let's go.
C'mon man just tell me where.
I already told you I can't tell you where.
Fuckin Christ man.
For the last time it's for your own damn protection.
Can you at least give me a general idea?
Sure. The mountains.
Gee thanks.
Gee you're welcome. You got the shovel?
It's in the back.
Good. Get in.
Pretty out here.
Yeah. Gimme your phone.
What?
You heard me.
Let me guess, it's for my protection.
Somethin like that.
Kinda all looks the same out here.
Yeah.
So what's the shovel for?
Diggin a hole.
What're we diggin for?
Nothin in particular.
Alright here's our stop.
Looks like a whole lotta nothin here.
Yeah. Get out.
What for?
Get the fuck out.
What are we even doin out here?
I know your real name ain't Doug.
What?
Don't play ignorant with me you lyin son of a bitch.
The fuck are you even talkin about man?
You know exactly what I'm talkin about.
No man I don't!
C'mon you and me both know you're undercover.
What??
Bobby ratted you out man. It's over.
There ain't no fuckin way man.
Yeah. Actually there is.
What the fuck're you doin with that shovel??
Gonna hit a fuckin home run with your face then bury your body out here where no one will ever find it.
You really think they ain't gonna find you out for this then you're outta your mind.
I'll take my chances.
Goddamn you, "Carlos." Goddamn you straight to h—
What did you just say?
You heard me. I said Goddamn—
Shut the fuck up you little prick. Did you really just put airquotes around my name?
Oh come on, you and me both know that ain't your real name.
For fuck's sake man.
Uh oh, is someone angry?
Well no duh I'm angry, you broke the rules again!
Awww, is someone gonna pout?
No I'm not gonna pout!
Awwwwwwww, is someone gonna pooooooouuuuuut?
No why the fuck would I pout when I can just go tell mom on you?
Like that's gonna do any good!
Like hell it won't!
Tattle tale, tattle tale!
Yeah see how that feels when I tell mom you're the one who got dad's shovel lost!
Oh yeah fuckface well I'll tell dad you threw my phone out the window!
Ooooohhhh I'm so scared! Guess what happens when I tell everyone at school that you and Bobby showed each other your pee-pees over by the bleachers!
That's a lie! Take that back you motherfucker!
Oooohhh, big man with big words!
Fuck you you want a piece of me??
Alright let's go!
You did a good job of covering the hole. I can't even tell there's a body there. You even put the rocks back in the right order and facing the right direction. Exquisite work.
Thank you! I had a lot of practice.
Well you know what they say: The world is your graveyard.
I thought what they said was: Kill everyone.
Or are those just the voices again? I always get confused.
Does that answer your question?
Yes thank you, but now I have another question:
Where's Waldo?
You'll need a shovel if you hope to find him this time.
I think I know where I can find one of those.
Stay out of my trunk.
Why do you have so many boxes of Where's Waldo books in your trunk? I could barely even find the shovel in there.
That's my calling card. I leave one on scene just to fuck with the cops. They're out looking for Waldo and my name is Pedro. It's genius. Sorry about the smell.
Damn that's brilliant. I'm gonna tell Carlos about it. Mind if we start using Carmen Sandiego?
Where in the world did you find that idea?
Oh you know, I was just out digging a hole one day for no particular reason and then bam, there it was.
You found Waldo?
He was still alive for what it's worth.
Thanks for finishing the job...
You're welcome. So does this mean I can keep the shovel?
It's a deal.
Do you know how long I've been waiting for this moment???
Lemme know when a year is up so I can dig up the bones.
Hell, you can dig them up now if you want. This story is from exactly one year ago.
Wait, so that wasn't Doug the Drug Dealer?
Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. Hard to say really. Bones are bones though.
Well I guess I'll find out next time I order something through DrugHub.
Plot twist! Homie was alone all along! (duh!)
Nice work :)
Well that could certainly explain why there was only one shovel!
Thanks for reading :)
Maybe it was the shovel all along speaking?
I stop hahah
LOL :D
Have a !BEER!
View or trade
BEER.Hey @edprivat, here is a little bit of
BEERfrom @brandt for you. Enjoy it!Learn how to earn FREE BEER each day by staking your
BEER.I know who you mean by Bobby.
Yeah he's a real prick. Someone needs to go use a shovel to hit a home run with his face.