Interview With a Paragon | Dax Paragon - Splinterlands Weekly Challenge

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Today, I have the privilege of interviewing Dax Paragon, infamous magician and advisor to Silus of the Rift himself. Let's jump in.


Interviewer: Hello Dax! Thanks so much fo-
Dax: It's Mr. Paragon, if you please.

Interviewer: Ah, sorry. Yes, Mr. Paragon. How are you today?
Dax: I'm dreadfully handsome, thank you very much for asking. Being this ravishing can be quite a bother, but you wouldn't know.

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Interviewer: No, of course I wouldn't... We've all heard so much about you Mr. Paragon. Your rich upbringing and being thrust in a world of power. Would you let us in on the man behind the orb?
Dax: Certainly. I was born in the beautiful metropolis of Lyveria, where my parents had founded Paragon Enterprises. They named me "Dax", short for "Dazzling". Both my parents had a lisp. Growing up, I was always surrounded by luxury, to the point where it became meaningless. I had pillows made of gold. Very uncomfortable. Much better to fill a pillow with the fluff of a baby unicorn.

Anyways, I was always very studious. As early as the age of 8 I was thinking about what mark I would leave on the world. A beautiful mark, I knew. It started taking shape in my mind.

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Interviewer: Wow, what a way to grow up. I bet you had a lot of friends?
Dax: Never. I lived in a world apart. I was always being watched. 'Watch on,' I would say to them bitterly, 'but better to watch out.'

Interviewer: Does that mean you're lonely?
Dax: Dax Paragon, lonely? * (laughs hysterically) * Of course I'm not lonely. I live a fast life, full of luxury, gold, and back-stabbing. I'm definitely not lonely.

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Interviewer: I'm sorry, did you say backstabbing?
Dax: That fully depends on how well this interview turns out.

Interviewer: So, what is it that you do exactly...?
Dax: I'm a serial entrepreneur. A viral marketer. A management consultant. A growth hacker. An influencer.

Interviewer: ...I'm sorry, w-what?
Dax: I manage a network of dark associates, which I use to extort anyone who annoys me. Which is basically everyone. I also advise his chaotic lordship, Silus of the Rift.

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Interviewer: Silus himself, huh?
Dax: He saw me for what I am - beautiful, well groomed, perfectly dressed, blazingly intelligent. And he thought to himself "I need a right hand who can sport shoulder pads and a pink cape". And thus I came into his lordship's service.

Interviewer: What's it like working for Silus?
Dax: He's a terrific boss. Doesn't micromanage, gives me ample feedback, gives good advice, lets me kill my enemies. Silus is very supportive. And he listens - I know the secrets of men and beasts, and what's needed to control Praetoria. Together, we're unstoppable.

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Interviewer: Well that's totally not terrifying. Care to tell us about a battle you were recently in?
Dax: I learn from my errors. There aren't many, of course, so when I do commit an error I must maximize the learnings. Here's a battle where I come across one of my greatest nemeses, the thoroughly ugly Almo Cambio. I try, time and again, to afflict him but he simply does not yield. Behind him sit the silly Kinjo and Kralus, a ridiculous monk & cat duo. I've not managed to afflict them either. Worse, Almo fires my magic missiles right back at me. Despite having the dreaded Dr. Blight and the adorable Adelade at my side, and the silky Lux at our helm, we fall.

Battle link: https://splinterlands.com?p=battle&id=sl_558aed2a9a04f84e51723c949885803b&ref=bravetofu
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Interviewer: Thanks for sharing Dax- err, Mr. Paragon sir! I do believe that's all the time we have for today. Would you be ok to take a glamour shot?
Dax: Every shot is a glamour shot, my darling. Don't stare too long though, you might fall in.

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Hope you've enjoyed this interview. It was fun and slightly dangerous. Hope Mr. Paragon likes it, otherwise I may not get to do any more interviews. If you want to check out past interviews, here they are:



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4 comments
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These are amazing. Makes me laugh every time

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