Know When To Fight!!!

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Of course, competition can be healthy. In fact, it can be very healthy. However, what turns it unhealthy can be a very tiny thing, one that we may not even notice due to how little we might consider it and how we might not see it as a big deal. Competition is the lifeblood of growth because whether you’re competing with others or with your former self, it can be viewed as a fight to be better at what you do.

As I said before, competition between friends can also be a good thing. It can help prop them up and motivate them to work hard so that they can learn from each other. It is just like the top three students in a class rotating the first position among themselves.

Sadly, one thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of people don’t know how to pick their rivals. It’s not everyone that you should compete with. There are people you’ll compete with, and your status will just drop at once. And there are those you’d compete with, punching above your weight, and people will call you foolish.

It’s just like when a middle-aged married woman with kids sees herself in competition with a young girl who is just entering adulthood and learning life. There’s no way that competition will go that the woman will be viewed as the victor. Or imagine an SUG President seeing himself in competition with a Governor or even a President. You’d be surprised at the kind of thoughts people have in their minds.

The thing is, for you to consider someone as a rival, it means you see yourselves as equals. Yeah, because the only way a competition can be fair is if you have something in common, despite the appearance of several variables. Races are held among people of the same calibre, this includes age, sex, weight, etc. However, even with these, there will still be variables. Some people are just fast runners, and they’ll be the ones taking the lead. And some will only be there to represent their organizations. They’re not winning jack!

This is why a child cannot race a full-grown adult, because it wouldn’t be fair. However, if the child insists on competing with an adult, it means that there’s something that puts them on the same level. Something that gives them a chance to win. And that is how all competition works. And sadly, it’s also part of what makes it so toxic.

Sadly, you cannot avoid competition, because whether you like it or not, you’re in the game, and if you want to move ahead, you have to play to win. We compete for promotions at work, we compete for the best prices in the market, we compete for the best seats in the bus… on and on we go. However, while we can’t avoid competition, we can choose what we compete in. It’s actually a choice that we can decide to make.

There are competitions that’ll drain you and suck out all happiness from your life, and there are those that will actually make you a better person. It’s not all competition that we must get involved in. Hell, you could even be doing your thing, and someone somewhere would be competing with you, without your approval! As in, can you imagine?! It’s crazy!

I feel that the only way for a competition to stay healthy is to define the reason for said competition and be intentional about it. Competition stops being healthy once it stops being about us and becomes more about our competitors. Competitions should always be about you, and what is best for you, what will make you better… it shouldn’t be about what will bring your opponent down, or what will make them fail, or what will destroy them.

Once you’re willing to do anything and everything to win, without regard to others, then it’s getting toxic. Once your only interest for winning is because you want others to see you as a winner more than you want to be the winner, then it’s getting toxic. Because then, you’ll do whatever you can to be seen as the best, even if it means sabotaging the chances of others.

And then, not all competitions are fair. But then, life isn’t fair. Just as some people in a race as fast as cheetahs, others don’t have that privilege. And in life, some people are born with insane gifts that others just don’t come close. Yet, they’re in the same competition. There are those who don’t need to read too much to pass their exams in flying colors, and there are those who could read for months, and still end up with an average grade. The one thing you’re struggling with, crying night and day about how hard it is, someone else would be doing it flawlessly and perfectly, making it look like you’re not serious.

In such cases, it can be easy for the competition to get toxic. Especially when you start thinking that you deserve to win because of all the work you’ve put in. Competition should never be a do-or-die affair. If you fail, you try again. And again. Life isn’t so hard. And if we feel such competitions are not for us, we move on and move to the ones that will be more in line with our gifts and talents.

Let’s know when to fight and when to learn. It’s very important.

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_{Thank you for reading. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below, I would love to know what you’re thinking. Till we meet in the next post.}

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_{This post is inspired by the first topic of this week which is Healthy Competition. Feel free to try it out.}

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_{N.B: All images used in this post are mine. The thumbnail was designed using Canva.}

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