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This life is a beautiful thing indeed, but at the toss of a coin, it can turn into a nightmare. And many times, we would never even know that we are living in a nightmare. we have so many expectations in life, but we kept getting screwed over by responsibilities, obstacles, and constant struggles, making it look like we are not cut out to succeed.

Honestly, it is terribly hard trying to stay sane through all the madness. Times are hard and the truth is that no one gives a damn about you. Everyone is interested only in the money they will get from you, and they want it immediately because they know that if they don’t press, someone else will take it.

Pressure is coming in from all sides, choking and stifling the air out of our lungs, how the hell is one supposed to cope with it all? How is one supposed to be able to see past all the troubles and remind themselves that better days are really ahead? And with the current situation, how can better days even dare to be ahead? Why can’t it be today? Who send am message?

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It seems I just came here to rant today, and it’s with good reason. I was at my place today, working as usual in the afternoon when I began to hear raised voices coming from the floor above mine. Apparently, it was an argument that was going on, and I could make out a male and female voice. Probably a couple that was arguing among themselves. What was my business? I swore never to meddle in spats involving lovers.

But they didn’t stop all the yakking, their voices kept getting louder. Even though I couldn’t really make out what they were saying, it was really disturbing my concentration. I had to shut down my computer and do something else until the lovers wore themselves out. I was wrong.

Instead, others joined in as well. This time around I could hear what they were saying, and they were begging the man profusely.

“Please don’t!” Only one thing came to mind, and it was domestic violence. Was he beating the woman? I decided to go outside and see for myself. And what I saw shook me to my knees.

It was not a case of domestic violence. The man was perched on his balcony, two floors up, and was threatening to throw himself off. Everyone was begging him, some people had run up and were trying to break into his apartment. His wife was also on the balcony but she was not close to the railing, she was on her knees and begging the man. Their son was also in the background crying profusely, without any clothes on.

“Just let me kill myself!” The man was saying, we could hear the tears in his voice, “of what use am I? Nothing I am doing is working! Maybe it is when I die you will finally have peace!”

He was still talking when the young men managed to break into the house and dragged him into the house from the balcony. He was screaming and crying profusely, telling them to let him go. They had to drench him in cold water before he managed to calm down.

Later on, some elders in the area went into the apartment as well to talk to the family. After that, I returned home and tried to work but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t get the image of that man perched on the railing of his balcony out of my head. It messed me up really badly and I couldn’t work again. I had to distract myself by watching a movie.

It was until this evening that I heard from one of their floor neighbors that the man had lost his job sometime last year and he had never been able to recover. His wife was a petty trader and what she made was not enough to see them through even a day. Added to that, he still had to send money home regularly to his parents and younger siblings because he was the first son. And then, his child’s schools were demanding school fees.

The child had been refused entry into the school premises today for lack of payment of school fees, and the wife had reported it to the husband. Telling him to do whatever he could to secure the fee. And that was what led to the argument. And it escalated to the point that he was threatening to kill himself.

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Somehow, hearing the full story didn’t make me feel any better. I just felt sad about what they were going through. It just had to be one of the worst ways to start the year. Like, I can’t even imagine how all this would have piled up over time to get to the tipping point that we witnessed today. And then, imagine if he had actually done it in front of his kid. That would have scarred his poor child for the rest of his life!

The truth is that no one is having it easy, we all have responsibilities. So much that sometimes it feels like our backs will break. And with the situation of the country, it can be easy to fall into the assumption that nothing you do is working out. You toil so hard throughout the month, and by the time you get your pay, everything around you snatches it and leaves you with nothing. You begin the next month. Just a devilish cycle of never-ending stress.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

One of the best ways to handle the struggles in life is by keeping a positive mental attitude. This might sound cheesy, but it really works. If you keep on feeling like your problems will overwhelm you, then they will definitely overwhelm you. But when you believe that you can overcome them, you will find yourself taking steps to do so.

I know that doing that might be difficult, with worry, disappointment, stress, and other silent killers out there. But these are feelings that are not supposed to be with you for too long because they can get really dangerous. Our mind is one of our greatest assets, and once it becomes sick, it can be hard to ever find our way back.

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As of now, I don’t really know what else happened to the man. Their floor has been quiet since and I don’t know the outcome of the conversation the elders had with them. But I sincerely hope he is no longer having suicidal thoughts because there is just so much to live for.

Things may be hard, and things may be tough, but you are still better off than so many people in the world today. Suicide is never the answer because it changes nothing, but destroys everything. Only leaves behind nothing but pain and guilt for those left behind.

No one knows tomorrow, it could be the day that will change the trajectory of your life totally. So, as long as there is no one that can predict how it would be, then just focus on living through today. Worry about today and take care of the current problems. Let the future take care of itself.

What I witnessed today really touched me. Since then I’ve not been able to think of anything else and I was of the opinion that if I wrote about it here, I might get a form of relief. Well, pouring my soul out here is sure cleansing in a way. Tomorrow I will see what later happened to the man and his family. And I really hope it is not going to be a sad story.

It will really wound me.

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M. Venter




Thank you for reading. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below, I would love to know what you are thinking. Till we meet in the next post.



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5 comments
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(Edited)

Suicide is really not the way out but some situations would just make you think of nothing more than to just leave the troubles of this world behind.

There is problem ooo, the condition of the world has gotten worse, and surviving is becoming difficult every day. Losing one's job at a time like this is something else and I can imagine how much he will need to bear from his wife for not being able to take care of the family responsibility.

I will have felt the same way you did if I was there and before man would think of suicide, you should know that things have reached a point where life means nothing anymore.

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As in ehn... things can get so bad, even we would not know when it would get to that point. Such a thing is traumatic and I hope the family is able to overcome this eventually.

Thank you for reading.

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I really hope they get over it, the Almighty God will come through for them.

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I have also seen almost same kind of situation once in my life which occurred 6 to 7 month ago.
Whatever the reason but it's not the right thing to do and it's not a solution also.
But it's a matter of concern also the suicidal attempt is increasing in recent time.

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Wow... suicide is never a solution. It only makes things worse.
Thank you for reading.

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