The Conversation Parents Often Forget to Have

I grew up in a family of eight. I am the lastborn, so I never had the opportunity to know how my parents handled sex education with my two elder sisters.

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As a male child, I never received any sex education from my parents. In my country, many parents believe that only girls need to be taught about sex because they are the ones who can get pregnant and bring shame to the family. I disagree with that mindset.

If boys were also given proper sex education, we would raise more responsible young men and likely reduce the number of young people engaging in risky sexual behavior.

Many parents focus only on the girl child, forgetting that it takes two to tango. If you educate one child but ignore the other, the one you didn’t talk to may influence or pressure the one you did. In the end, the outcome could still be the very thing you were trying to prevent.

As I said, I grew up without any conversations about sex education from my parents. Everything I eventually learned came from friends and teachers at school.

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Before social media became a part of everyday life, children and teenagers were, in many ways, more innocent than they are today. The first time I heard about masturbation was when I was in JSS3, and I didn’t even know that was what it was called until years later.

One day after school, two classmates argued. One claimed he could masturbate and ejaculate, while the other insisted it was impossible because they were too young to produce sperm. To prove his point, he actually did it.

I remember feeling confused. Both the act and what I saw were strange to me, and I didn’t think much about it afterward.

It wasn’t until SS1 that another classmate played a pornographic video in class that I realized such content even existed. Later, my Biology teacher explained human reproduction in class, which helped me understand many of the things I had previously been exposed to without any proper explanation.

The danger of learning about these things from friends is that misinformation and peer pressure can easily influence a child. If my parents had talked to me about sex education earlier, those experiences wouldn’t have been so confusing or awkward.

As a parent, I intend to teach both my sons and daughters about sex education when they are mature enough to understand it. I want them to hear it from me before they learn it elsewhere, where the information may be inaccurate, inappropriate, or presented in an uncomfortable situation.

Sex education isn’t just about preventing pregnancy. It is about helping children understand their bodies, respect themselves and others, make informed decisions, and know how to respond when they encounter situations involving sex or relationships.

Both boys and girls deserve that guidance.

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