The interview

The alarm clock buzzed as David jolted from his bed. He fell to the floor covered with his bedsheet which wrapped tightly around him as he struggled to get it off.

"Damn! this stupid bedsheet." he said as he freed himself from its grip.

"Holy shit! I'm late." He glanced at the wall clock for some seconds and playfully scurried off with the tip of his toes into the bathroom.

He heard his phone ring in the bedroom. In an attempt to get it, his pyjamas pulled down to his ankles making him leap with his toothbrush in his mouth.

"Hey Pete! What's up?" he said, holding his phones to his ears.

"Yeah, I just wanted to remind you of the interview."

Source

Source

"Thanks man! My alarm already did that for me."

"Oh! I guess I was late. Well..."

"You're always late bro" David quickly cut in.

"Look who's talking... Try getting a wife, perhaps you would have woken up a little bit earlier."

David had been single for a long while. He was more focused on business and generating income. He was a 50-year-old man who recently started making moves to find a wife, but it was all futile.

He went back to the bathroom after his conversation with his best buddy, Pete - they were always fond of throwing silly, dark jokes at each other.

"You're 50 years bro and You're still single." He said to himself while staring into the mirror just above the bathroom sink. "Fuckkkk!" He shouted holding his head in frustration — One would think he was going nuts.

He quickly had his bath and hastily put on his clothes: a black suit with a black tie and black glimmering shoes. He was in an all-black ensemble except for the inner shirt which was white.

"Hey! what the hell is wrong with you?" He angrily screamed at the car in front of him. His head poked through the window. "What sort of horrible drivers ply the road these days." He said to himself with his head still poking outside the window.

"F*CK you!" The man who drove the car in front of him screamed in response, displaying his middle fingers through the window as he sped off.

Ordinarily, David would have chased after him, laying curses but there was no time, he was already an hour late to his interview.

Upon arrival, he saw a large queue waiting just outside the tall building where the interview was being held. He struggled to pave his way inside.

"Hey, sorry excuse me" he said while paving his way through the queue with his suitcase held high above his head.

"Hey watch it!" a woman screamed as he mistakenly rammed into her.

"I'm sorry, I'm really late." He replied while running without turning back.

He eventually got into the building, bumping into the security guards who stood just at the entrance door.

"Hey! Mister, come here!" The guards ran after him but David was faster. He finally stormed into the office where the interview was being held.

Surprised, the interviewers — who both sat on a glass bench with a glass table adorned with a beautiful vased-flower at the centre — looked up at David who was all sweaty.

"Ummm... What can we do for you Sir?"

"Oh hey!... Sorry...hi." he shaked his head "what am I saying!" He whispered to himself.

"Sir, please can we help you?" The second interviewer asked.

"Ahem" David cleared his throat. "Sorry for creating a scene, I'm actually...'

The office door behind them suddenly opened...

"Heyy!!" The guards shouted, almost bumping into David. The two interviewers and David all turned simultaneously to the two guards who seemed quite surprised that David was already interacting with the interviewers.

"Can I help you two?" One of the interviewers asked the guards, arching both eyebrows.

"Nothing sir, we were just... I think we'll just take our leave" one of them said tapping his associate on his shoulders so they could both leave together but as he was about to close the door, he stared into David's eyes for a moment.

David shrugged his shoulders, and arched an eyebrow, acting as though he didn't know what was going on.

"As I was saying, I'm part of those waiting to be interviewed. I was really late and.."

"What's your name?" One of the interviewers who was quite slim unlike his buffed colleague, asked.

"It's David."

"David you say." He replied, while flipping through a stack of office papers on his table.

"Hmmmm... We were just about calling you in, perfect timing!"

"Where's your CV?"

Realizing he wasn't with it, he voiced out in regret ...

"Damn! I'm in a a big pickle right now"

The buffed interviewer who noticed his hands were empty then said...

"It seems like you didn't bring it along." He then glared at his associate creating a wave of silence which was broken by their simultaneous laughter.

"This has to be the funniest interview ever" the buffed interviewer added.

"Mr David, your beards are rough."

"Yeah I'm sorry. My wife wasn't there to help me shave." His hands slowly massaging his beards.

"Where is your wife?" They both asked in unison.

"Oh! Ummm... I'm actually not married."

There was a second outburst of laughter which lasted for minutes.

"You responded like you were actually married, now boom! You aren't married" the slim interviewer said with a big smile on his face.

"You're not married?" The buffed interviewer asked again in surprise. "Now You're actually in a bigger pickle," he said, creating a second wave of laughter.

The laughter just went on and on, echoing through the company walls that workers and people who were turned in smiled, wondering what what was going on in there.

After his encounter at the office, David walked out with an expressionless face. Everyone including the security guards stared as he passed by, they figured out he might not have gotten the job - his face gave it away.

He got to the building's exit just where the guards stood. Their eyes communicated, then he suddenly reached for his pocket, and extended his cupped palms towards them. They both stretched their necks, attempting to see what laid in it. He opened his palms... It was some notes of cash.

"Sorry for earlier, I wouldn't have gotten the Job if I wasted a little bit of time," His expressionless face slowly carved into a wide contagious smile.

He left the entrance door heading towards his car - his humour and confidence had earned him the Job.

The guards gleefully watched as he drove off.