The house of comedy (part 1)

There's nothing as good as living in an apartment where only you and your family can have total privacy. Face me I face you building is always dramatic, tragic and at the same time full of fun. This is because different types of people with different characters live together under a roof. The only thing differentiating them is their various rooms. They use the same kichen, toilet, bathroom, balcony and compound. More than 20 families can live in the same house with their rooms facing each other and if they are all counted one by one, they might be above 50. A house full enough to act a movies. It should be titled the house of comedy

A youth corper newly posted to the city got a room in our compound (I guess it was her first time living in such house). I saw her looking for her pot of rice. "I put rice on this stove now now, where e dey"? She was walking up and down like waist bead checking where a pot of rice cannot enter. . After a while, she stood on a spot looking like a monkey that missed his banana. As a good boy, I decided to help her. I said ma'am, "dey don carry am", meaning the pot of rice was stolen. By who, she askef

I didn't answer her because I don't want to put myself in trouble. Anty, you better be greatful they left your stove. I guess it's just a warm welcome greetings to the compound. She learned how to cook in her one room by experience

Eating good food in a face me I face you apartment is the beginning of envy and enimity. It has become a norm that when someone eat good food, some people must be angry. Each time my dad buy chicken my mum would try to prevent the aroma of the fried chicken from getting out of the room but the stubborn air would make way for it to travel as far as it can. For two or three days, only a few tenants would answer your greetings with their nose. Others would lock up. The worst is if you are owing the landlord, make sure no good aroma come from your room, else, no matter how far the land lord is living, you will see him by 4 AM knocking, and you won't find it funny if you don't pay him on that day. You will hear "Na my house rent you take dey chop chicken (you are eating chicken with my house rent)". If you are wondering how he knew, it was one of the tenants that called him. No privacy

It's only in a face me I face you house your cloth would miss from the wire and the person that stole it will wear it in the compond. The corper dried some of her clothes outside the compound and some were missing. When I saw her shouting, I was like this corper again".... No one looked at her side. After two days, she saw a lady in our compound wearing the same cloth she was looking for. "See fight". The lady denied stealing her cloth. "Na only you oyinbo do am for" (was the cloth made for only you). Cloth wey I buy for Oyingbo market for bend down select. The corper was at a point dumb founded when people asked if no one else can have the same type of cloth she was looking for. That slang "Na only you oyinbo do am for" crippled her actions, but deep inside her, she knew it was her cloth

In face me I face you house, you queue for many things

If you had all your children in a face me I face you apartment, be rest assured that some of them carries the blood of your co tenants. If the blood sample of all the men and the children are taken and a DNA test is conducted, there would be an eruption of the amagedon war in the building. In as much the DNA test remain expensive, face me I face you buildings will reign forever