RE: The Blind Eye (Part 1)

I'm so glad that I caught the first installment of this story! It works very well as a first chapter, in that it builds to its own climax, but at the same time it introduces the major dramatic question for the story as a whole: will Taylor realize Trent is no good for her, or will she keep going back to him until he hurts her? That might not be exactly where you're going with this, but hook us because we need to know what Trent is capable of, what threat he presents, and you introduce that danger excellently with the detail of "the warm, sticky breath that settled on the nape of her neck" and the fact that she doesn't dare turn away from the window. I think you show us this emotional/relationship dynamic very well too; I can relate! I've been in relationships with women who are hung up on past loves; it's an all too real situation. I'm not sure we sympathize with your main character (Taylor). Not that we have to, or that you want us to, but just wanted to offer that feedback. Another point, on the expression 'piece of mind': it should be spelled peace of mind. This is a really great story so far; I'm not sure I realized you were such a good writer. Awesome. :)