RE: Here's for what's to come.
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Keep the hands and mind busy. Found it is the best way to keep your thoughts off the heavy load you carry sometimes. Being that you were able to write and get yourfeelings out on Hive, you are not alone now. Take care and looking forward to reading more about your exploits.
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I really wasn't in a good space. At the jamsession, an acquaintance from town approached me, just wanted to let me know how I felt and that he was in the same situation for many years. It broke me. We went out and I cried, he obviously felt bad about it, but there was nothing I could do.
Later went out with a friend of mine, to destroy myself a little. That worked great. He always knows how to get me into other thoughts, although we're not in touch as often as we used to.