Keep my emotional balance

When I saw the Blog of the Month theme, I thought, oh my, what am I going to write about. It's been a while since I stopped making a list of goals at the beginning of the year. And it's not that I don't like to plan; on the contrary, I love to plan.

I worked for years in planning in the corporate world when I was younger, so strategic planning and budgeting were my day-to-day life. Also, in my personal life, I loved making plans.

But plans can always be affected by many variables. In my case, my life in many aspects turned out to be very different from what I once planned, in a good measure affected by the circumstances of my environment and what happened in Venezuela. What we have lived through in this country was so unpredictable that it was impossible to foresee when I was in my 20s. And a person like me, who used to like to plan down to the smallest detail, learned to adapt to the changes; there was no other way out if I wanted to survive the circumstances with a minimum of sanity. So for years, I got used to the fact that my plans are on a very short-term and I constantly renew them, and when you live in Venezuela, a year is a long time, the unforeseen events that can occur are many, and I have learned from the experience.

And in these years, I've learned that some changes are opportunities, and some aren't, but in both cases, the most important thing is always our attitude towards them. How we face them and, in some cases, be willing to reinvent ourselves along the way to survive the change. And in all this time and despite some battles on a personal level, I have managed to achieve an emotional balance with myself and with my closest loved ones.

However, this year is full of challenges to that precious emotional balance. This year my son is leaving for college, and as much as my heart wants to keep him close to us. Rationally, I know it's best for him to go study abroad; the opportunities here are not what they used to be when I was young. And he's doing everything he can to go, and I know, because he's even more determined than I am, which I am quite a bit by the way, that if he doesn't make it this year, it will be the next. So that's a significant change in my life, not only because I'll have him away but because we'll have to adjust to being two and not three on a day-to-day basis. And it's been so long since we've been just two that I don't even remember how it feels. I know it's the law of life, the natural process, but I'd be lying to myself if I didn't admit that I'm terrified of change and what it might mean for the first time in a long time.

_{Image by Johnny_Gutierrez in Pixabay}

When I think about what is coming, I feel as if I've been playing Jenga with my emotions in the last few years. Despite all the changes I have had, not only because of the environment but also personally, the tower that has been forming, despite some pieces being removed and putting others, has been relatively stable without wobbling. But this time, the changes coming are pieces that could threaten the tower's stability.

So I guess this year I do have one big, single item on my bucket list for 2022 and that is to end the year with my emotional balance intact and the tower upright and wobble-free.

This is my out-of-competition post for the Silver Bloggers community #BOM; remember you still have time to participate until tomorrow, Tuesday 25 January, at midnight UTC. You can check instructions and prizes at A New Year, a new approach: Introducing the Blog of the Month.

Thanks for reading!

_{All writings are my own unless otherwise stated.
Sunflower image by me / Jenka and toys image from Pixabay, credit on the caption}

© CoquiCoin

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January 24, 2022