A small part of me is somewhat motivated. It's pretty small but it's lingering in my mind and body.

I basically want to become successful more than ever for my son.

Also to make my exes regret leaving me. Is that a toxic thought? I don't know. LOLOL.

I also want to successful for my own sake, don't get me wrong.

I have tried to hit up some old friends with very limited success. Like I said, I'm the king of ruining and taking relationships for granted. Nobody really cares anymore.

I'm exhausted and I'm not even doing anything.

But like I said there is a low-key small amount of motivation starting to creep up outta me.

I've been getting ready to push forward and be a success for months.

Another cool thing that has helped me sorta be motivated is the fact that I discovered a new rap artist on youtube.

Totally new music I haven't heard before has been surprisingly therapeutic.

The music doesn't bring back old or bad memories because obviously I have never heard it.

In my opinion it's some awesome music!

Nowadays it's somewhat hard to discover new underground music because youtube has been dumb for years now.

Here is a taste of Freddie Dredd:

I feel like he makes good just intense music to sorta vent to and get some negative energy out.

I know his music is kinda intense and even can be portrayed as negative or unhealthy.

But I think it's great.