I Have Gone in Search of Myself. If You Find me, Please Bring Me Back!

From time to time people might wonder about this thing we call "looking for yourself" or trying to "find your self-identity."

I bring it up, because I realized that this year represents an anniversary of sorts, for me… the 25th anniversary of my learning about something called being an "HSP" or "Highly Sensitive Person" (it's not what you think!) back in 1997.

It meant a great deal to me back then, perhaps because I didn't have as much of a grip on who I was and so I identified more strongly with psychological clichés because... well, they made sense to me, and offered me something to hold on to.

Back then, it was important to me to be able to say things like "I am and INFJ," or "I am an introvert," or "I am an Enneagram type 4," or "I am an HSP."

I immersed myself in studying all those things for many years because I hoped that through learning as much as I could about myself I would somehow find a measure of inner peace. Or, rather, my inner self would find a measure of peace in the outer world.

All these years later, I'm not nearly as immersed in these identities although I must confess that I refer back to them on a regular basis as a means of simply understanding why I responded the way I did to a certain situation or a certain input.

Ironically, it all makes me realize that the person I met many years ago — known to most of us in a particular circle I ran in, simply as "the Judge" — pointed out that labels are kind of like a map: the map represents the territory but the map isn't the actual territory.

Similarly, the labels we take on aren't necessarily our total identifiers, but they can be very helpful just like a map is very helpful if you have to navigate your way from one side of the City of London to the other. Could you make it without the map? Absolutely! Would it take longer? Very likely. Hence maps... and psychological labels.

I do find it interesting how some people are outright offended by the idea of psychological labels, often forcefully arguing that they "can't be described" by a label. I also find it highly amusing when the typology associated with such people directly states "resistant to being classified..."

Some people, I suppose, are more open to simply leaving how they navigate life to chance and for them it sometimes seems like every moment is just a surprise. I tend to fit at the opposite end of the spectrum and I prefer to remove as many surprises as I can, and I usually do, through getting to know as much as I can about something before I undertake it.

I used to think that had something to do with the fear of failure or needing to control everything but as the years have passed I've come to recognize that it is neither of the above. Instead it's a case of recognizing about myself that when I get thrown off course it takes me a very long time to recover and get back on course.

Hence, it's better to figure out all the things that might throw me off course first, and then avoid doing them simply because it takes so damn long to get back on track. I like to think that isn't a fear based thing, simply a practicality based thing.

I expect I'm never going stop studying how the human mind works, and in particular how my mind works and why it sometimes leads me in directions that don't really make sense to me. But then again when we stop learning aren't we just dead?

Thanks for reading, and have a great remainder of your weekend!

How about YOU? Have you spent much time in "self-study" and "self-improvement?" What do you think about the whole issue of people "looking for themselves?" What's your opinion of personality "typing?" Handy tools, or offensive? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

---

Greetings bloggers and social content creators! This article was created via PeakD, a blogging application that's part of the Hive Social Content Experience. If you're a blogger, writer, poet, artist, vlogger, musician or other creative content wizard, come join us! Hive is a little "different" because it's not run by a "company;" it operates via the consensus of its users and your content can't be banned, censored, taken down or demonetized. And that COUNTS for something, in these uncertain times! So if you're ready for the next generation of social content where YOU retain ownership and control, come by and learn about Hive and make an account!

Proud member of the Silver Bloggers Community on Hive!

(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly and uniquely for this platform — NOT cross posted anywhere else!)
Created at 20220521 23:58 PDT
0579/1825