Midweek Memories - Always so Many Things to Remember!
I have always been a chronic list maker!
I suppose I refer to it as almost an "illness" of some sort, because people are often commented on the fact that I have a list for almost everything in my life. I suppose they find it unusual...
And that is quite true. I keep a lot of lists. But it's not because I have OCD. Of course the part of the picture most people aren't fully aware of is that I have a truly lousy (short term) memory.
It's definitely not a case of me getting old and forgetful, because I've had a lousy memory for as long as I can remember. This unfortunate state of affairs always presented itself as quite a challenge when I was in school and needed to remember an assortment of facts for tests or for pop quizzes in class, because I invariably wouldn't be able to.
I didn't exactly suffer from test anxiety, my anxiety was mostly concerned with not being able to remember a bunch of stuff that I knew that I knew, but had just forgotten.
I remember my mother thinking there was something seriously wrong with me because I couldn't remember ordinary things from one moment to the next.
And I would come to ask her a question about something, and by the time she got unbusy doing what she was doing and actually took a moment to listen to me I would have forgotten what it was I meant to ask. The frustrating thing about that, was my mother in her invariably superior mood would end up saying the same thing each time it happened: "well then it must not have been very important!"
False! Absolutely 100% false.
Along the way, I've tried a battery of different exercises and programs allegedly designed to improve short-term memory, but none of them have been significantly successful. For a while I was even spending $25 a month on a subscription to one of those online "brain training" programs that apparently makes your mind sharper... but whereas it helped in some ways, the one area in which it didn't help me was retention of information AKA short-term memory.
Of course, it's slightly ironic that I'm now sitting here writing a post about "memories" of not being able to remember and I'm actually perfectly capable of remembering that I couldn't remember!
And if that sentence made sense to you, congratulations!
The only thing that has really changed as I am now approaching my 63rd birthday is that I don't worry as much about my poor memory. I've also learned to accept that it is essentially only my short-term memory that suffers, my long-term memory remains pretty good... and it is sometimes remarkable what I can remember about a specific event... 30 years ago.
Sadly, having a good long-term memory doesn't help me very much when I'm standing at the supermarket trying to remember what it was I needed to get for dinner knowing that I've forgotten the shopping list back at the house!
Lists will only get you so far...
Thanks for reading, and have a great remainder of your week!
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Created at 2023-06-08 00:51 PST
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My memory was ruined by a re-infection of Lyme disease when I was 19. I had an excellent memory until then. It's affected both long and short term memory. I've forgotten my son's birth, the months long trip around the US in 1976, and lots of other things. Short term isn't good either and lately I've taken to reciting to myself a list of 3 or less items I have to do at that moment, just to accomplish daily tasks.
Like leaving the kitchen for the office to: 1. tend the fire, 2. find a paper (probably a list) and 3. set the phone to charge up. Then leaving the office, there would be a new list to do on my travel back to the other end of the house. I never try to remember more than 3 things, as I can't. And I must run the list in my head until I've finished it.
God forbid someone should speak to me, or the phone ring, or any other attention grabbing thing happen...
And you should see the kitchen island and my computer desk, just littered with lists.
This wasn't supposed to be amusing to read but you injected a lot of humour into it and for that, I'm glad. It kind of sucks not being able to remember things, especially ones that you know that you know. (If that makes sense.) But there's only so much you can do so your lists, even though not hundred percent reliable are there for you and you just find happiness in the things you can.
Are you looking forward to your birthday?
I think a large part of being at peace with your life challenges is to simply accept and manage things as best you can... no need to be all bitter and put out.
Honestly, I don't think a lot about birthdays anymore... they were never a big deal when I was growing up.
Oh, I see. I hope it's a good day for you at least. Hope you're having a wonderful weekend.🤗
There is so much about this post to love, probably because I can relate to so much of it. I suspect you have an actual learning disability, which would not have had a label or been recognized as such in the '60s or '70s. I am glad you have found ways to cope, regardless. I, too, rely heavily on lists. I find that if I write things down, I am more likely to remember them with or without the list in my hand.
Made perfect sense to me!!