Pause for Thought: Exploring the Power of "Letting Go"

I suppose we've all heard someone say something along the lines of "you just have to LET GO of that and get over it!"

Quite often, we respond by being annoyed by such a suggest — even if not outwardly so — because we know inside that "it's just not as easy as that!"

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When you stop and think about it, the whole notion of "letting go" covers a surprising wide band of human experiences... from letting go of a parent/relative's passing, to letting go of an ex lover, to letting go of inherited family "treasures" that actually aren't relevant to us, to letting go of an old hurt, to letting go of an (sometimes toxic) old habit; to letting go of a dream; an idea; a goal.

The list can be long!

The thing is... "letting go" is often misinterpreted to mean that we should just forget about something, and that's where our annoyance and resistance to the idea typically arises.

It took me quite a few years to truly wrap my head around the idea that it's not actually the thing itself that we're trying to let go of, it's our limiting thoughts and feelings surrounding the thing... which can easily end up holding us back, in certain areas of our lives.

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"Letting go" is actually about freeing up emotional, psychological or mental space. But it can be a very complex "archeological dig" in our psyches.

When we decide to sell grandma's "priceless" antique tea set it's not really the tea set that presents the issue, it's our "investment" in a body of feelings, memories and emotions relating to grandma and what was important to her. But we tend to forget that those feelings actually exist, independently of the tea set. The tea set is merely a "prop;" a physical reminder of something we are holding on to, in our minds and hearts.

It's a little more complex when it comes to letting go of people, particularly when it comes to those for whom we have deep romantic feelings; often feelings that are not reciprocated.

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What are we really wrestling with, in such cases?

Typically what we are faced with is the need to let go of an idea that a person is going to "do something" or "become something" specific that we think in our minds that they should be/do... and we may not really be letting go of the actual person but the underlying idea that a specific outcome and resolution will come to pass.

If you have spent much time walking around on this planet, chances are you've become well aware that we generally can't "make" people feel something they don't.

Most of the time, we can't even make someone DO ANYthing, let alone make them change their feelings! People are generally going to be exactly who they are, and the likelihood that they will suddenly "get a clue" and see things the way we do is often as unlikely as that person growing a second head!

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So how did I end up down this particular line of thinking?

As of late, I have been going through a lot of "old stuff" from our attic and closets, with the intention of letting go of anything we have just been hanging onto for no greater reason than "it came from our (respective) parents' house."

Whereas it is fine to have emotional attachments to old family items, you still have to pause and consider whether or not they are relevant to your life. And that becomes particularly true as we age, and perhaps face the reality of moving into a smaller living space, within the foreseeable future.

Mrs. Denmarkguy and I concluded that we'd rather sell is slowly on eBay than in a giant "forced garage sale" when the time to move finally comes around.

Interesting enough, I have been feeling some bits of "brain space" clear up, each time I put a sold item in a box and mail it off to its new home! Letting go can — in fact — be very therapeutic!

Thanks for reading, and have a great weekend!

How about YOU? Do you tend to save thing that have "memories attached," but which you don't really need? Do you find it hard or easy to let go? How about letting go of IDEAS and HABITS that are not serving you? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

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Created at 20220923 19:00 PDT

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One reason why I decided to buy enough life insurance to be buried somewhere. One I don't want to be burnt to a crispy as there are some out there that'd rather enjoy that day, lol, but I don't want my death to be a constant reminder laying around the house for them someday in a urn. I don't think it's healthy.
My son's girlfriend is obsessed with her sisters death as an example, I can only imagine if sister was laying around the house what it would be like. I pick up their son from school and we went fishing one day. She was mad at me because she had planned to take the kids to the cemetery to celebrate her sisters birthday. She has slowed somewhat but when she first passed away it was so bad that I changed the course I took to go pick up my son from work because we'd have to pass the cemetery and it always brought up TT (her nickname) to my grandson. He was around five at the time and dwelling so much on her death because mom did just isn't a healthy thing for a five year old or even now for that matter. Death and grieving can bring quite an emotional toll on people, children shouldn't be learning to carry on those emotional tolls to such an extent. I told my son he really needed to sit down and have a discussion with her about it. Can you imagine the emotional toll through life if you were taught at an early age to celebrate everyone's death on the anniversary of their death, their birthdays and memorial day. Life could get rather depressing.

As far as possessions I haven't gotten quite as far as you but it's something I've been working on. I've also dwelled on some thought processes that often led me to make some decisions that I had made in life. I don't know if it will lead to any drastic changes or end up altering my thought processes but I guess you have to start somewhere.

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I have always had a hard time parted with inherited items. I have found that take a photo or two of the item helps me because mentally I know I can look at the photo anytime and it does a good job in bringing up the memories.

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An interesting post @denmarkguy! For the most part, I have been spared this pain as I have moved every two years since I left home. The jobs have taken me on a grand tour, however, it is a must to go through everything before the packer comes to move it away once more. So my things have been sifted through on a regular basis.

Not so with my kids.

I didn't want to take away their memories, so I didn't make them part with things. I was already making them part of the family. I don't feel guilt for that, I would fly my parents over wherever I was for a few months at a time. They loved it and it was a great bonding time. That is what I loved most. Not things they gave us, although admired profusely, it is my grandparents, great grandparents that i long for and things just really don't mean that much without them, except the memory, But there are lots of pictures and videos with these things in it. So, I try not to accumulate, but this is not to say I don't have a few things. Just not an attic full.

Anyway. a great read and I may pass this along to my own kids. :)

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