A Life On Repeat
A few months ago, my life was as good as it gets. Movies, blog and sleep, blissful and joyous. But life after school really is what they say it is, and it was just waiting to happen to me. I thought final year was stressful, but boy was I wrong!
Do you know the feeling when you’ve been looking forward to something so much and you get it, and it feels like you’ve been scammed? The feeling when what you thought was, isn’t what you believed it to be.
That is my life right now. Everyday of it. I wake up to relive the same day everyday. The only days in the week I acknowledge are the weekends, and it’s rightly so because the weekend is the only time I don’t wake up to the deafening buzz of my alarm pre-annoyed at the start of a new day.
Regardless, it is life- my life. And I live it everyday looking forward to the end of every passing one. As if that meant the next would be any different.
What happened to all the good stories of life after school we were told? Does it get any better? Do I ever wake up one day and not have to go to work hungry because I woke up late as a result of not getting enough sleep? Will I ever stop eating lunch for breakfast?
Oh and it gets worse better. The walk from my hostel to work is no easy feat. Not just because I sweat and breath like I just run a marathon by the time I’m there, but because of the dust you get covered in on the walk. Carrying an extra shoe in my bag to change after I walk through this sandstorm of a path is not sweet either.
And after I make it work, then comes the next. How about the fatigue? Does everyone else doze off almost into deep slumber sitting in front of their work desk with days pile of papers to mark?
Enough about work, my personal life…well, I don’t know if I should even call it personal, as it doesn’t seem I have a life itself anymore. Work is all I know.
How does 20 minutes become a sleeping pill strong enough to knock out someone who binged seasons worth of shows in one night’s sitting? To someone who got insomnia because of his “one more episode” problem. How did I get here?
If my laptop were a person, the only two friends it’d have right now would be Microsoft office and Hive.blog. Microsoft office for work, and Hive.blog for work.
Music is the only escape from this life. But even my playlist is nothing new. Same old, Dave and Nathan albums on repeat. You get the idea.
This is what a day in my life feels like- most of them anyways. The repeated activities, alarms with notes to wake up and get ready for work as if the alarm’s sound wasn’t enough to deliver the message, lunch for breakfast, 15 minutes walk through a sandstorm of a path, days worth of grading to catch up on that just keeps piling every single day…Does everyone else wake up everyday to do a job they don’t really look forward to or is it just me?
All pictures in this post are mine
Honestly, I know this feeling all too well.. Being stuck in a monotonous cycle, feeling no meaning to daily life. I am sorry to hear you are experiencing it. However, I really hope your situation can improve some day.
I also like how you mention that music is an escape. I relate to that as well. If it were not for music, life would seem a lot more bleak! Thank you for sharing this
My situation definitely will improve. Just not soon, most likely as this job is a 10 months gig, of which I’ve done 3 or so.
If you’re ever looking for songs to relate to about life or these kind of stuff, Santan Dave is your man:)
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Damn man, I don’t know if I want to complete school just yet. Thought final year was stressful but this makes life after school seems way worse.
Sounds like you’ll have to get a motorbike soon or more shoes 😅.
A motorbike soon would be the better alternative if I could afford it. But I can’t even afford more shoes so you can imagine. Lol
Oh wow bro that’s hard. At least you can afford some nose masks to protect yourself from the dust.
Or you sell handouts to your students to fund your motorbike purchase.👀
Nice suggestions to get me fired😂
They don’t pay you but Nana does 😂. Plus your students will keep your secret.
It gets better. It gets worse sometimes too. I've felt exactly as you feel a few months ago. It helped me to force myself to have gratitude. My life is still really crappy compared to what it was 10 years ago, but now I get up every day (without enough sleep) and thank God that I'm still alive and that makes things a little better.
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Most of us just have our devices to keep us going, naming those inorganic compounds can be stressful sometime.
I can relate fully to the problems of final year as well as the monotony that becomes life where survival means you have to go out almost everyday so you can put food on the table.
That same survival also means that you might loose connections with many of your loved ones because you're just never available.
I can only say it'll get better with time, although if you look at it again time is the one thing that's not available in this case.
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Feeling as if we are stuck in a cycle happens to a lot of us. Don't get lost in that feeling, it is deceptive! There is always a way to wiggle out, in time I believe you will find yours, you seem incredibly bright and dynamic!
Wow, you're a science teacher?! That is an amazing accomplishment for someone who looks so young!
I enjoyed reading this day in your life, even if it did really make me want to hug you. Keep your chin up, and your eyes keen, nothing lasts forever. The thing that changes this cycle is coming I bet. 🤗
I hope it does get better. I’m optimistic the better days are coming soon:)
Haha thanks for the nice words. Lol I’m not sure my being very young right now is a good thing. Most of my students mistake me for a student when they meet me for the first time.
We believe that anyone would be tired after accomplishing so much! You are a wonderful writer, and we are glad that Hive is one of your two friends right now. Keep up with your quality engagements with other authors, and it is certain that you will add many friends to this number. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Thank you so much for the nice words. This community is a lovely community and I hope it helps me sharpen my writing skills:)