My Mother's Mother

You know, many people lose loved ones over the years. Could be a person or a pet or maybe something of great significance. Whatever it is, their absence touches us. Leaves a sort of void.

I haven't lost someone very dear to my heart. Well, I have lost classmates and old friends but, I never felt that connection. And while I felt sad, I didn't lose it.

Now, this was a different story early last year when my Aunt called my mom and announced the death of my Grandma. That was one of the few times I saw my mom at a loss.

Background…

My mother is the fourth of nine children. Out of nine, she's the most outspoken, hot-tempered and protective one. She's also My Grandma's favorite. Grandma and Grandpa moved to Ohio in the U.S early 2000. However, she and my grandfather lived separately. My grandfather is blind and stays in a nursing home while Grandma was taken care of by the government.

My mother was the favourite of my grandma. They did almost everything together and Mom would always prefer to be with Grandma than be anywhere else.
My mother took over the kitchen and making meals for the house at the age of ten. She is a great cook and that's all from spending after school hours at grandma's restaurant.

When Grandma moved to the U.S, they drifted a little but they were still very much in touch. Fast forward to when my father walked out on us, Grandma shouldered my responsibility all the way from there. She'd send clothes and money to Mom to take care of me. I got to talk to her once a while but I never built that connection with her. She and my mom would spend hours on the phone, talking and laughing. Just like I do with my Mom.

Grandma had tried to process our Visa to join her. She spoke with someone in the U.S Embassy, we'd gotten our passports and everything was ready. We just needed a stamped visa and flight tickets. But I said no. I was scared. I was really young then and moving to a foreign country was like a nightmare. Mom and Grandma understood and supported me. So we stayed back in Nigeria (I regret that decision till this day!).

Then, years later, Grandma returned back to Nigeria. I was meeting her for the first time. She was in all white and I could have sworn she glowed. She didn't look her age. She still walked straight, slender and graceful. Her voice was a lullaby and her mannerisms were just…royal! I turned to my mother then and said, "you're nothing like your mother." She gave me the stink eye.

When Grandma returned back to the States, she asked me if I'd like to come join her. I accepted. The plan was, I'd leave after school. Unfortunately, Grandma didn't make it till then.

The Loss…

_{My Grandma, Long ago.}

Grandma was diagnosed with cancer last year. However, there were other theories behind her sickness but I'm not going into that.

When my aunt called my mom, I watched the world crumble around her. She lamented and bawled; she never even got a chance to say goodbye. I had to remind my mom that it wasn't her fault that Grandma died. She beat herself up about it.

That darkness strengthened the bond between I and my Mom. We found comfort in each other during that moment. Momma wasn't herself for a while and more so during the burial. However, I made sure to be there for her and in return, she remained strong for me.

My Grandmother and I weren't close, but she was with my mother. I watched my mother reinvent herself again and it was heartbreakingly beautiful. Forever, Grandma remains in our hearts!

Love you Grandma. Mom loves you more!

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This is my response to the Dreemport Theme for the Month.

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