Weekend engagement 197: Enjoying control.

My being is defined by the need for almost absolute control over my environment, my mind is always alert, anticipates and plans every possible scenario and I almost always propose negative scenarios, although the situations rarely become as dire as I imagine them, that constant Anticipating the worst-case scenario gives me inevitable anxiety.

Every moment of my day is planned and structured from the night before, my mind is constantly planning activities, and any unexpected outing, surprise meeting or unannounced family visit upsets my system and generates anxiety, even planning dinner meals. week is part of this control ritual.

I am fully aware that this need for control translates into an inability to enjoy spontaneity, I refuse to participate in unplanned activities, such as impromptu outings with friends or surprise visits to family, including choosing meals during each day of the week must be previously planned.

I consider that this way of living limits me in many ways, it deprives me of the possibility of enjoying unexpected moments and living new experiences. Furthermore, the constant anxiety and stress caused by the lack of control negatively affects my emotional well-being.

It is evident that my need for control has a negative impact on my life, I am aware that I must seek a balance, learn to be flexible and allow myself to enjoy spontaneity without causing chaos for my mind and I am constantly working on improving that aspect. of my life, I understand that the search for this balance will be key to achieving greater well-being and a fuller life