Ever seen a couple who were so in love and crazy about each other divorce or breakup? Ever seen a man dump a girl he's dated for years to marry someone no one would ever believe he'd marry? Do you believe that a guy can be crazy about you and still dump you? Read on as I carefully analyze these thoughts of mine.

What is chemistry in terms of relationship?

It's that mutual exciting feeling between two people. It is the chemical connection between two people. Let me make it clear, it's that thing that makes two people always want to spend time together, desire to see the other, do things together. I'd say it's more of an emotional connection only.

While chemistry is very much important, it is not all that is necessary to take a relationship to the next level. People often say that love is blind but marriage is the eye opener. Do you know why? It's because a lot of things you didn't know about a person while you were dating, you'll definitely get to know when you're married. That's because in marriage, couples get to live together, there's no way anyone can really keep pretending in marriage, well the chances are slim. (It's not really impossible, I know). In marriage you get to wake up to your wife's real face. The makeup will be cleaned, lashes removed.
You get to take note of how long it takes your partner to shave his/her armpits, do they wash plates after eating? Do they really think cooking is the lady's job, etc. Do they really tidy the room or was it all just for a show during video calls? A lot of discoveries happen in marriage.
This is where people get to realize that there's more to making a relationship and marriage work other than chemistry.

Let's talk about compatibility

Compatibility is when two different things complement each other. A typical example is a pen and its cover. They are not the same but either way you try to fit it, at the tip or at the bottom, it goes and that's compatibility.

Let's have a case study using Fredrick and Jessica. Jessica and Fredrick are crazy about each other and so they decided to get married. After marriage, they have started cohabiting as expected and Fredrick realizes that Jessica has a problem with organization. She comes back from work and throws her shoes anywhere. In the sitting room, on the corridor, in the backyard. The bedroom is always untidy, piles of clothes not folded and Fredrick is always telling her everything to do and he's exhausted.

Trouble begins! Fredrick begins to come home late because he can't stand his wife's disorganized attitude. Jessica might begin to think he's seeing someone else and that's how trouble begins. Accusations begin, insults begin and then separation. All because of incompatibility.

It may be hard to believe but oftentimes the things that destroy marriages are prolonged simple unresolved issues. It is often said that little raindrops fill the ocean and it's very true.

Compatibility is different from chemistry

When we say people are compatible, for me it means they can go together anytime. There can be a great chemistry between two people but that doesn't make them compatible. This explains why it's possible for a girl to be a guy's girlfriend for a long time yet he ends up marrying another person and vice versa.
Chemistry is just about emotions but compatibility is about companionship, friendship, attitude and every other aspect that there is. People understand that marriage is meant to be for life. That's why they don't want to risk ending up with someone they can't put up with forever so they let go. It's possible to love anyone but it's not possible to live with anyone for life. Some of us have people we love because they're smart, rich, kind or anything but we cannot risk living with them for even two days because we know that those people do not complement them in aspects necessary for cohabiting.

Let us learn and build friendship

A major problem we have in the world is the inability to understand that we mustn't have a relationship with everyone. It's okay to like a person and remain just friends with them. Not all friendships must grow into a relationship or marriage. We really need to learn about friendships. Sometimes a lot of things we could have learnt about a person while we were friends, we didn't learn it because we were too eager to jump into a relationship. We can save ourselves some of the heartbreaks, we really can.

These are my thoughts and I'm looking forward to your comments and constructive criticisms.

Images by: Milan Popovic Toa Heftiba Jon Tyson Tyler Nix

Edited by me using Canva.