My Friend, Mike

gif from tenor

It's the eve of another weekend and this week my life has been a good sweet roller-coaster. You might be wondering why. Well the reason isn't farfetched, it's been the football season's international break. That means it's a time where international teams do a kick-around without really entertaining anybody, which in turn means people don't give a f*ck.

The reason I'm doing this post is mainly because of Manchester United and Chelsea fans. I know this is our last time of happiness this week, so why don't we just have our last laugh before the weekend's demons arrive.

Today I'm going to talk about another of my friends who's name is Mike. Or as we call him in full Mike-hell. Mike is a dark, stout small man with a sizable paunch that makes him look like a football with a head and legs.

But footballs don't have head, so you could say that Mike doesn't have head, not just because he doesn't give head, but also because, well, he doesn't give head and you can't give what you don't have.

We all love Mike like a brother and we even took him to church, but Mike doesn't just fit in the congregation. It's not because he's not welcome, but because every time the priest reminds us that "we're the light of the world", it makes Mike feel like God is a liar cos his light only shines when he smiles.

I even remember during one deliverance session when a possessed lady stopped abruptly at the sight of Mike just to admire him for looking like her master.

But you can't really blame Mike though, he's really tried in a world where he finds opportunities few and scarce. Sometimes he feels like his future is like his skin tone, it's too dark to behold.

And that's why he's not a fan of night life, because he can easily get involved in accidents, sometimes he feels like an accident himself. At some point Mike contemplated suicide, but the devil appeared to him angrily, warning him not to bring his level of darkness to his humble abode.

Mike doesn't think he's that dark though, but sometimes when he walks into the room, night falls on the room immediately. At some point when he fell sick and we took him to the hospital, it was revealed that Mike is allergic to light and it's the bright light in his room that infected him.

Once Mike went to the village and he was almost bitten by his grandma's goat because the goat mistook his legs for roasted yam. As if that wasn't bad enough, he was accused of staining her mom's choir uniform which is a black skirt.

But again, you can't blame Mike for being dark because it started with his name Mike-hell and then his schoolmates started saying that none of his ideas are bright. But what would you expect from a black man who's from Nigeria. Light will always be an issue.

I know that one day we all shall die and be buried, and I also know that, that's when Mike will finally have an advantage over us all, because there in the nothingness and the darkness, he will finally belong.