Yesterday, I chose red. Today, that freaking blue pill is calling my name.
I'm sure it's just the day. Right?
Because truth is priority. Followed by fighting against oppression. Followed by the holding the line for freedom. Followed by a million other things that are a huge struggle to continue to fight for but we know, know, know that we must "endeavor to persevere". You know, I always loved that line from the the movie The Outlaw Josey Wales. It's one of the saddest little monologues I've ever experienced - probably because it's not fiction. It's based off of history, and history can always break your heart.
"Endeavoring to persevere" is noble and just and worthy. But it's exhausting. Soul-sucking, energy sapping, life-draining kind of exhausting.
It always kinda makes me think of those pills from The Matrix. And usually, I'm like yeah!!! Let's all be NEO and fight against the machines and free the world! Go Red Team! LOL And then you get to the end of the second movie and you realize that the machines were working both sides. They had the "matrix" Matrix, and then the "freed" Matrix - so that people could have the illusion of freedom and choice. The hard-ass freedom fighters could free themselves to the "other side" all they wanted, but that was just an illusion also.
Both sides were just an illusion.
And then it made me think. If both sides were an illusion, maybe Cypher had the right idea, but the wrong execution. I mean - there's no way around the fact that he was sacrificing his friends for his own pleasure, and that's simply deplorable. But let's say you really just did have the choice - you could take the red pill and head to that post-apocalyptic world of gruel, sewage systems, war, hiding and more- OR, you could choose the blue pill and live in the blissfully sweet ignorance of your mind.
My parents and I would discuss this often! hahaha My dad was dead set on red pill, all the way. My mom was grabbing that blue pill every time without hesitation.
You know... and I say this extremely cautiously hahahaha - yesterday I did some meditation with the Oculus VR headset. From every possible angle, I was completely surrounded by paradise. I was on top of a cliff looking at the most amazing night sky. Aurora Borealis was playing hide and seek behind the clouds. Beneath me, there was water crashing against the walls of the cliff in fluorescent blue sprays. The moonlight glowed above me like a guardian, assuring that it would over me if I wanted to drift off to sweet slumber. The music was calming and steady, completing the entire euphoric experience.
And I really thought... I know this isn't real, but damn it - it feels so tempting to pretend that it is. And I discovered right then, I might be more susceptible to the blue pill than I realized.
Maybe we all are.