Chasing Thoughts Down A Rabbit Hole: My Journey with Cognitive Distancing

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Nature illustrations by Storyset

Yesterday night, I tried to sleep, but I couldn't. As I closed my eyes, thoughts kept racing through my mind - not anything particularly useful, just random thoughts. One moment, I thought about my family, then my friends, and then past relationships.

I let most of them pass, but the most emotionally driven ones were those from my past relationships - a memory of the last time we saw each other, the last things they said, the thought of what they meant. I did my best to let go of the thoughts as they came, but letting go of some was not as easy as I hoped. My mind provided me with concrete proof that I was right about her - a thought I had previously not examined - so, like chasing a rabbit down a hole, I jumped right in, calculating and equating. Then, I remembered that I was trying to sleep.

So, I closed my eyes and counted in my mind, but by the time I got to 10, there she was again - but it was a different memory this time. And this time, I was so wrong about her, and she was right about me all along. So, she went into the rabbit hole once again, and I followed her down there.

In the past, when I had not learned to separate myself from my thoughts, I would stay up all night in the rabbit hole - sometimes helping the rabbit to dig new holes until I was wide awake by 2 am, with the phone in my hand, speaking to the girl in my thoughts in real life, going against the decisions I had made. I forgot that the "me" in the past who made those decisions was not stupid and deserved some respect.

That phone call led to a new drug trial of a failed drug that killed all the test subjects again - and it would be for the same reason as the last time. If only I knew then what I know now.

My mind was the one having the thoughts, and I am a being that is bigger than those thoughts.


Functions of the Brain


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The brain is a very complex structure. After centuries of studying its ins and outs, we are still barely scratching the surface of what we know about it. For example, humans are thought to be the most sophisticated creatures because of our consciousness, but we are not totally sure where it lies.

Some think it's in the cerebrum because of its volume and the areas that light up on brain imaging as we think, but a large concentration of all the 86 billion cells of the brain is located in the cerebellum. In other creatures that show complex brain function, the cerebellum isn't even that big (parrots, for example).

Thinking is one of the brain's functions, and in this regard, you need to think of the brain like every other organ. At every moment in time, the heart keeps beating, and the mind keeps thinking (even when we are asleep at times).

The mind can't stop throwing thoughts out. It's like a computer stopping all its processes. The only way that can happen is if it is shut down or broken.

In the same way, the human brain keeps throwing processes at us.

You Are Not Your Brain

There is this general notion that most people have, and that's that for me to be having these thoughts, it must mean they are real, but this could be so far from the truth.

If this were the case, then all my childhood cartoonish thoughts would materialize...but the thing is, now I am an adult, and even though the mind that threw those thoughts at me has become more mature and is no longer throwing cartoonish thoughts at me, it's still throwing thoughts at me.

My mind has developed because if I kept thinking like a child, it wouldn't be sustainable against reality. Now the thoughts I have are so close to reality...but it doesn't change the fact that they are still fantasies and fables, and chasing them (most times) does not lead to anything good.

So, you are not your brain. Your brain is having its moment...you should let it, and you should continue with what you were doing before you started noticing those thoughts.


Cognitive Distancing


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Nature illustrations by Storyset

This is a concept in cognitive-behavioral therapy that involves distancing oneself from their thoughts. It is a process of recognizing that thoughts are not necessarily facts or a reflection of reality; they are just the brain doing its thing.
This is something I have been practicing for some years, but I recently stumbled upon the concept online, and I have been more intentional about it.

It involves looking at thoughts more objectively and not allowing them to change your course or accepting them as reality. It also involves not judging the thoughts because that would be paying attention to them anyway. Granted, some thoughts can be evaluated to see if they hold true in some situations, but more often, they should be discarded as the mind playing tricks.

Cognitive distancing helps to reduce the intensity and frequency of bad thoughts. When these thoughts are not paid any attention to, it is very possible that you forget what they were in the first place.
It is possible to challenge some of these thoughts against reality.

Holding them firmly into the light can show you how untrue they are and reduce the amount of attention you give to them when you have them again. Or holding them to the light will help you see what is left of the thought when it is challenged with the truth.

Knowing about cognitive distancing prevents your mind and belief system from being automatic. It is very dangerous to have this type of mindset where everything that comes to your mind has the possibility of being accepted as true. It is dangerous for yourself and the people around you, especially when some of the thoughts can be cynical at times.

It can be a form of mental hygiene to have this ability. It helps you clear your mind of what was and what could never be and focus on what is actually happening.


Mindful Meditation


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Nature illustrations by Storyset

One of the ways of developing cognitive distancing is by practicing mindful meditation. You can learn to observe your thoughts rather than jump into whatever hole they crawl out of.
In mindful meditation, you cast your mind on what is at hand without judgment or distractions. You "listen" to your body. How are you breathing? What does the air feel like as it touches your body? Your objective is to be in the moment and not try to change things.

In this way, you are aware, your observations are non-judgmental, you are focused, and you are reducing the effects of stressors.

It is best to practice this for 5 to 10 minutes in a quiet space where you can sit comfortably. Allow your mind to wander while you pay attention to your breathing.


Self-Monitoring


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Nature illustrations by Storyset

This is a technique used in cognitive-behavioral therapy to help people see and estimate the automatic thoughts and patterns of belief as they appear. These thoughts are recorded and challenged against facts, and by doing this, the individual has greater insight into their own thought patterns.

Self-monitoring is used particularly for triggers that elicit certain thoughts. The recordings can be done on the phone or in a journal, and then they are challenged.

These are the questions that are used to challenge these thoughts: Is this based on facts or opinion? What evidence do I have to support or refute this thought? What is the worst-case scenario, and how likely is it to happen?

When you notice that a moment might have triggered you, identify what in that moment might be the trigger, record the thoughts associated with the moment, challenge the thoughts against evidence, evaluate the evidence, and repeat.

Reframing This is another strategy used in therapy to change the way a person sees a situation. When this is done, the person has better mental flexibility and adaptability.

When this is practiced, the person develops better cognitive flexibility, allowing for different perspectives through which one situation can be perceived. When this is practiced properly, the person will have a more realistic view of the events leading up to the thought.

When the mind has developed this technique, it becomes more resilient and can come up with more positive thinking patterns. In doing so, the negative patterns associated with certain thoughts are done away with, and the person can continue with a more positive view of why some things may have taken place.

In reframing, the most important aspect is finding the negative patterns. Once they are found, it is important to hold them to the light of truth.

What aspects of these thoughts have any truth in them? If they are properly found, and the truth has been sifted out, you can pick out the positive in the situation and repeat the process for different patterns.


Thought-stopping


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Nature illustrations by Storyset

This is used in cognitive-behavioral therapy to stop certain thoughts as they arise, especially if they are unwanted. These unwanted thoughts are detached from, and it helps build resilience in the face of destructive patterns.

By practicing thought-stopping, the person can break a line of thought and detach from it. The person also gains self-awareness about the pattern of the thought while practicing this. This helps with self-control and helps to regain focus on the task at hand. Thought-stopping has also been found to reduce stress and anxiety.

To practice, you need to identify the patterns that bring about certain thoughts, then you can use a word as a cue to break the thought pattern. For example, my word is "keep up". Some people find it more helpful to use physical cues such as finger snapping.
After interrupting those thoughts, you come back to reality and focus on the task at hand...and repeat.

If trying any of these methods does not work for you, it is important to seek help from a therapist. There is a limit to what self-help can achieve, and if you are more troubled than a mild case, you might need professional assistance.


You can send me a message on WhatsApp at +2348134530293, and we can have a conversation, or you can speak with a licensed therapist.



Conclusion


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Inkscape.org

In conclusion, our brains are complex structures that are constantly functioning and generating thoughts. However, it is important to recognize that we are not our thoughts, and that our thoughts are not necessarily reflective of reality.

Cognitive distancing is a valuable tool in helping us distance ourselves from our thoughts and evaluate them more objectively.

By not judging our thoughts and challenging them against reality, we can reduce the intensity and frequency of negative thoughts and prevent our minds from automatically accepting everything that comes to mind. By practicing cognitive distancing, we can achieve a clearer and healthier mental state.

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Inkscape.org


How do you usually deal with racing thoughts before going to bed?
Do you think it's possible to control or stop your thoughts from happening altogether?

Have you ever practiced cognitive distancing? If so, how has it helped you in dealing with your thoughts? Do you believe that all of our thoughts are a reflection of reality?


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Hmmmm honestly this right up came in at the right, yesterday I saw myself awake till 3:am, I was born thinking about thing's that I have already said that am done, I didn't even know that I was thinking and that is late, it was later I come to understand how the brain works is quite different from what we want to do sometimes.
Thank you for this write up.

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Glad you found it helpful

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