Self-interest: The twig that holds your alliances with others
The day you finally accept that everyone is into something for what they will gain that's the day you will be free from holding grudges against anyone. It doesn't matter how you feel and the way you thought they should have reacted as long as their reaction benefited them in the long run, then your feelings don't matter to them.
The next time someone offers you something, an idea, money, or help, don't blindly take it, try to figure out what's in it for them. It doesn't always have to be the chance to make money, sometimes, it's often about their happiness, joy, fulfillment, and sleeping well at night. So it's not often that people help others because they see an opportunity to make money. Some rewards are intangible, you can't touch but you can feel it. So for these kinds, they feel happy helping others and that's just it.
Either way, figure out what it is the next person stands to gain in their collaboration with you and you will save yourself the heartaches when it finally comes to the surface.
Today, for my contribution to the Q-inspired Community, I wrote the intro above because of this song, "Devil Doesn't Bargain" by Alec Benjamin. The artist says he doesn't mean to meddle in our affairs but we should always remember that the devil never bargains. He does whatever he feels is good for him and barely cares about the other person.
Alec Benjamin might have sang this song in the love-relationship angle but I chose to take it farther away from love and relationship. This is because these things happen even in relationships that have nothing to do with love. Two individuals can always come together for a purpose best known to them individually and nothing changes no matter how much you try to change.
Their intent is almost neutral, and even though the tides might turn on the way, one of them won't forget the purpose of his relationship with the other and will always get what he or she wanted.....without settling for less. If they wanted to do away with loneliness, they will. If they wanted financial support, they will find a way to do it. If they wanted someone who would cook, clean, and launder for them, they will get it. All they have to do is give what the other party needs and they will receive what it is their heart desired.
So, Alec Benjamin tells his friend that she is sure she can change the guy in question, but Alec knows that doesn't happen because the devil doesn't bargain. The guy won't change no matter how many times he promises to do so. People do not change unless they have reasons to or the purpose of the change suits their needs. If it doesn't, then there will be no bargain.
I always want to imagine what could have transpired between the guy and Alec's friend to inspire this advice. Maybe, the guy cheats or hits her, or does any other vices that keep breaking the heart of the girl. And at all times he will come begging and apologizing while promising to change. The girl who loves him so much and wants to believe him desperately takes him back and after a few days, his ruthlessness comes splurging out again.
And then I saw the dance video, it was incredible, and my hunch was right. His music had everything to do with abuse, domesticate abuse, mental abuse, and every other kind of abuse that you can think of. If you watch the video shared here, you will understand.
It doesn't always have to be the guy that is bad though, sometimes, girls are abusive, illusive, and selfish too. So, the table turns at this point, the girl being the one who calls the shot and the guy gets to be the one doing the begging and desperately wishing for changes in the girl.
So every gender experience this depending on who their partner is. But for this song, I am convinced Alec Benjamin is talking about a guy. This is because he keeps referring to the devil in question using masculinity.
These are also some of the lessons I picked up from the movie, Peaky Blinders, Thomas never tried to bargain with anyone without showing what's in it for the other person. He understood everyone must have something to gain from a collaboration and if you do not figure it out and use it, you may always be at a disadvantage.
To bring this to a close, everything I have said is for you to always ask the question, whether directly or indirectly, "What's in it for you"?; only when you know their why, will you be safe from disappointment and heartaches. Be careful out there, the world is rocky and it's an all man for himself society.
Love that Dance!
I know what you mean, but I refuse to believe it, I have been down on my luck and when that happen there were people to catch me, people of whom I did not expect it. It will never be the ones you helped to get up, guess that is Karma for you.
Karma does the bulk of rewarding and he does them differently... I agree with you.
What a good story you tell in this post. I confess I was hooked from the first lines. Really very captivating, very well done my friend. @edystringz
Thank you very much @freakshow90. Glad you liked it