Fear of the Unknown

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I hear people say, in the long run, you will get over it and will be able to overcome it but it has never been the same for me. Every day the thought of it cringes on me and makes me wonder if I am ever going to be ready for such a big step.

I woke up today to the news of a beautiful lady who I knew was pregnant, in God's mercies gave birth last week and passed away yesterday night and I have not been myself. This news and many more surrounding this matter, make me afraid especially because I can not tell or have a clue of what it would look like.

Many people say marriage is a big risk, it's a risk many are willing to get committed to, work, and face the outcome but for me, it's a risk I am afraid of venturing into and even giving it a thought especially because it is a lifetime risk.




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Some days, I wake up with the consciousness and assurance that I can do it but other days when I hear about the gruesome experiences many are still encountering, the tears, the pain, and the forever or lifetime scar, I re-think and tell myself I am not sure, I end up waking up with so much doubt about being ready for it and this has constantly kept me in the fence about my choices.

The lifetime responsibility that comes with marriage, child-bearing, and many more and the fact that I can not grasp what mine would look like keeps me in turmoil every day of my life. Don't get me wrong, I love marriages and love to watch two people walk down the aisle, I love to hear the bells and sounds of marriages and pray for all my friends and families to find it but then, I fear for myself. I fear that I can not do it, I fear that it is going to be my worst nightmare, I fear more because I can not attest or have this assurance deep down that it is going to be beautiful.

So many made mistakes even when they saw the red flag, they still decided to stay put while so many didn't know that the saying "Change is constant" was going to happen to them and their partner didn't decide to change for good but for bad and make their marriage life miserable for them.

Marriage is the only thing I find difficult to do and I am so afraid of the marriage journey this keeps me far away from people especially when the marriage discussion is brought up. It's a journey I wish I could know the risks involved and maybe get to choose what I want and how it is meant to be but fortunately, nobody knows it all, and everybody with their different experiences, whether good or bad.






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6 comments
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Sigh! You have no idea how I also fear marriage but that’s because you’ve not met that person you are supposed to be with .
I think when you do, it will become easy for you.

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Hmmm, then I am not abnormal

God please 🙏 help me.

I hope so

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Hello Eliany, have you heard of anything like “when you get to the bridge, you shall surely cross” ?
We believe it’s really just a phase, no pressure but then if you get to a point where you feel you need to be with someone, trust me Eliany, you shall definitely cross that bridge.

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The more challenges and struggles in life the more you know God is always near. It takes faith to endure.

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