Hive Naija Weekly Prompts | Edition 36 ~ I could be anyone!
Would you call yourself a social person or not? As a social person, how are you able to keep up with your activities and maintain your social life? As a non-social person, are you comfortable with it? Is there any way it has affected your relationship with others?
Hello, beautiful people of Hive-Naija it's been a while since I posted something reasonable on this platform, I have been out of ideas, and my head has not been in the game, I have had so many thoughts running through my head that anytime I hold my phone to make a post, I end up having little or no words to write on, I mean I have been on this topic for three days yet, and still while writing this, I didn't know what to write, I don't know if it has ever happened to anyone but it is happening to me and currently hindering me from reaching my desired goal this month especially since I am finally done with my exams yesterday, I just want to focus on this now and engage and use my holiday time now to do something meaningful before school resumes but it seems to be the other way around.
Ever since the first day, I saw this prompt, I thought hard and long about the question and the true answer to the question and I keep coming back to "I could be both of them if I want depending on the people and the environment I find myself" especially because of my temperament but notwithstanding, I think I would stick with calling myself a "non-social person" basically because I don't like to be noticed, I just love to appear and disappear at will without being accountable to anyone or anything.
Why I would choose being a non-social person because I love my space, I love my privacy and I don't like being in a crowded place, so I would say that I am a non-social person, funny enough since I know I have a hot temper, I just have to be careful with people I interact with, so I don't step on anyone's toes and no one steps on my toes.
I take myself as a non-social person but it is draining to do the relationships/friendships with people, it is not my thing and has never been my thing, especially as I know that most humans are sheep in wolf clothing, not that I think about people that way but having to trust people who would end up breaking you and hurting you with their actions and words, is one thing I would prefer my space.
I no want wahala and currently with the way the country is I am currently avoiding having enemies because as humans we will always fall out with each other because of our different perspectives of life and ways of reasoning, so I prefer to keep people at arm's length to avoid things I can avoid and have more acquientacbes than try to build friendship, this helps create boundaries
Lastly, I think I avoid friendships or relationships because I do not know how to hide my emotions, am quick to push people into the trash, and am quick to anger especially when I see people do certain things that do not please God, I always carry my emotions on my sleeve and tend to give back to people when they behave uncouth and rude, I wouldn't hesitate to put them in their place and damn the relationship but then, that would mean, having too many unwanted enemies and fallout with people, so to avoid those things, I love staying and being alone, I love my non-social side of me.
I love that side of me that scares people away, truth be told, I love it when people count their words before they spill them around me especially people who are rude, and arrogant, I love when I see people think I am tough with no emotions and avoid me by all mean because they know I wouldn't tolerate certain things from them, I love it when people just think the opposite of me, call me deranged but most times, we just have to pull up this other side of us because some people are not kind with their words and actions, and letting them know you could do worse to them, brings them back to their sense.
Yeah, it in many ways has affected my relationship with others, because remember once when someone a close friend had to beg me not to get upset about something she had to tell me, about me, because she felt I was too uptight, but after I made her understand that as a close friend, she is to me, I wouldn't behave the same way I do with others and would love for her to be sincere to me, we are both good.
It truly hurts when I watch some people, my family isn't left out of this attitude around me, scared to tell me something because they do not know how I would react to what they have to say, so they end up counting their words and walking on eggshell around me which makes me sad sometimes especially people I care about, but the truth is I am most times not comfortable with that part of me and try to work on it especially because of those I love and hold dearly to my heart.
This is my entry to Hive Naija Weekly Prompts | Edition 36
PS: These are random pictures I took while I had a long talk with myself. Images are mine
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I was once like this because of so many betrayals but I discovered that I was hurting myself and so I began a reform because God's word does not allow us to be uptight but to be loving and approachable. it took a long time but I am on a better path. This does not mean that I accept anything from anyone, I treat people the way I would want them to treat me and I respect boundaries too.