I'm Pregnant Again! - Unnecessary criticism

"I'm pregnant again!"

With emotion Laura said, who for the 5th time, was trying to bring a child into the world, her emotion was so great that she could forget the sadness of the past losses.

Laura's husband, who was somewhat fearful, was hugging her and between tears that were more of fear and joy, he did not lose faith and hope to achieve it this time, his biggest dream was not only to have a child in his arms, but also that his wife's happiness would be complete.

Pixabay

Laura ran to break the news, no one saw her tears, no one understood the pain each time she spontaneously lost baby after baby, no one was there to comfort her sorrows, no one but her husband. Yet when she gave the good news, everyone was there to criticise her.

"What do you mean you're pregnant again", cried her mother.

"Are you not aware that you are putting your life at risk", she asked her mother plaintively.

Her husband, who had been through these episodes before with Laura, took her by the arm once more and led her home. As they walked along there was a great silence on the road, helplessness, annoyance, sadness and a thousand questions invaded both their minds.

Source

Suddenly, the car stops and Kevin (Laura's husband) breaks the silence, tears streaming down his face.

"I can't take it anymore! We wanted this, we want to be parents but we haven't been able to and I can't stand the criticism, I have enough with my fears and struggles, with your fears and pain".

He wasn't reproaching her, he was complaining about the criticisms of other people, those who always have opinions to give when nobody asks for them. Laura, who had burst into tears at Kevin's first word, told him:

"We didn't look for this baby, we took care of ourselves, we promised to do it but he decided to come into our lives and I'm grateful for that".

Kevin hugged her once and they both made a promise not to talk about it with family and friends, to continue the fight alone, because in the end they had each other.

Source

Week 12, just under 5 months ago, Laura had lost her fourth baby, so even when the doctor told them that everything was fine, they were still nervous.

Week 15, they had already surpassed any other gestational time of their previous pregnancies, their happiness was great and their hope was greater.

Week 20, Laura and Kevin simply couldn't be more grateful, they attended the routine check up and as if by a miracle, all was well.

Week 21, Laura tested positive for covid-19, she had to be hospitalised as an emergency, she also suffers from an illness, which is what has prevented her from becoming a mother. They are not worried about the covid, they just ask how the baby is doing.

Week 23, Laura, after a few days in the ICU, has to be admitted to the operating theatre where she has to give birth to her baby, who has died inside her because of the virus. She doesn't speak, she doesn't say anything, she doesn't cry anymore, a lot of silence invades her and Kevin, who is the same as her, only holds her hand tightly.

Pixabay

Four days later, he is discharged and they return home together, a house that still smells of hope, the hope that was left in a lifeless operating theatre. They lie down and look up at the ceiling, lost in their thoughts, just keeping each other company.

Their family has not heard anything, neither have their friends, nobody calls, nobody asks, nobody knows how much they may be suffering, because in the end the pain is theirs.

Laura remembers with her husband, the time when she joyfully went to tell everyone - I'm pregnant again - and they only criticised her, while now it's just the two of them.

Source

In the end, everyone ends up finding out what has happened but nobody says anything, not even a sorry, not even a word of comfort or support, because in the end, they are not the ones in pain.

Kevin, who as a man was the strongest, no longer smiles as he used to, he lives in mourning, his wife has died, not physically, but in spirit, in desire and he no longer fights to get better, his greatest desire vanished in that hospital.

Today, I have seen them go everywhere together, they smile little by little, but they never leave each other. Life has not been easy for them and they don't know in the end what decision they will make, whether to try again or to adopt.

Many just watch them from afar, but they don't say anything anymore, they don't go around with emotion and tell about their achievements, they just keep quiet. By keeping quiet they have discovered that there is no one to judge, no one to point fingers and no one to cause more pain than they may already be experiencing.

Source

---

[Versión Español]

—¡Estoy Embarazada otra vez!—

Con emoción decía Laura, quién por 5ta vez, trataba de traer un hijo al mundo, su emoción era tanta que podía olvidar la tristeza de las perdidas pasadas.

El esposo de Laura algo temeroso la agrazaba y entre lágrimas que eran más de miedo y alegría, no perdía la fe y esperanza de lograrlo esta vez, su sueño más grande ya no era solo tener un hijo en sus brazos, si no que la felicidad de su esposa fuera plena.

Pixabay

Laura corrió a dar la noticia, nadie vio sus lágrimas, nadie entendió el dolor cada vez que espontáneamente perdió uno tras otro bebé, nadie estuvo para consolar sus penas, nadie más que su esposo. Sin embargo al dar las buenas nuevas, todos estuvieron para criticarla.

—¿Cómo que estás embarazada otra vez?— gritó su madre.

—¿Es qué acaso no eres consciente de que pones tu vida en riesgo?— le preguntaba con reclamos.

Su esposo quien ya habia pasado por estos episodios antes junto a Laura, la tomó una vez más por el brazo y la llevó a casa. Mientras avanzaban había un gran silencio en el camino, la impotencia, la molestia, tristeza y las miles de preguntas, invadían las mentes de ambos.

Pixabay

De pronto, el carro se detiene y Kevin (el esposo de Laura) rompe el silencio, mientras las lágrimas recorren su cara.

—¡No aguanto más! E imagino tu menos, quisimos esto, queremos ser padres pero no hemos podido y ya no soporto las críticas, bastante tengo con mis miedos y luchas, con tus miedos y dolor—

Él no la reprochaba a ella, el se quejaba de las críticas de las demás personas, esas que siempre tienen opiones para dar cuando nadie las pide. Laura, quien había soltado el llanto desde la primera palabra de Kevin, le dijo:

—Este bebé no lo buscamos, nos cuidamos, prometimos hacerlo pero él decidió llegar a nuestras vidas y estoy agradecida por ello–

Kevin la abrazó una vez y ambos hicieron la promesa de no hablar del tema con familiares y amigos, de seguir la lucha solos, ya que a la final se tenían el uno al otro.

Pixabay

Semana 12, justo en este tiempo de gestación hace poco menos de 5 meses, Laura había perdido a su cuarto bebé, así que aún cuando el médico les decía que todo estaba bien, se mantenian nerviosos.

Semana 15, ya habían superado cualquier otro tiempo gestacional de sus embarazos anterios, la felicidad de ambos era grande y su esperanza mayor.

Semana 20, simplemente Laura y Kevin no podían estar más que agradecidos, asistieron a la consulta rutinaria y como si de un milagro se tratase, todo estaba bien.

Semana 21, Laura dio positivo al covid-19, tuvo que ser hospitalizada de emergencia, ella además sufre una enfermedad, la cual es la que le ha impedido convertirse en madre. Ellos no están preocupados por el covid, ellos solo preguntan, como está el bebé.

Semana 23, Laura luego de unos días en UCI debe ser ingresada a quirófano dónde deberá dar a luz a su bebé, el cual a causa del virus ha muerto dentro de ella. No habla, no dice nada, ya no llora, mucho silencio la invade y Kevin quien está igual que ella solo sostiene fuerte su mano.

Pixabay

4 días después, le dan de alta y ellos vuelven juntos a su casa, una casa que tiene aún olor a esperanza, esa esperanza que quedó en un quirófano sin vida. Se acuestan y mirando al techo perdidos en sus pensamientos, tan solo se acompañan.

La familia de ambos no supo nada, sus amigos tampoco, nadie llama, nadie pregunta, nadie sabe cuanto pueden estar sufriendo, ya que a la final el dolor es de ellos.

Laura recuerda junto a su esposo, aquella vez que fue con alegría a decirles a todos —¡Estoy embarazada otra vez!— y solo la criticaron, mientras ahora solo están ellos dos.

Pixabay

A la final todos se terminan enterando de lo sucedido pero nadie ahora dice nada, ni un lo siento, ni una palabra de consuelo o apoyo, ya que total, no es ellos el dolor.

Kevin, quién al ser hombre era el más fuerte ya no sonríe como antes, vive de luto, su esposa a muerto, no físicamente, pero si de ánimos, si de ganas y ya no lucha por estar mejor, su deseo más grande se desvaneció en aquel hospital.

Hoy en día, les he visto seguir juntos a todos lados, sonríen de a poco, pero nunca se dejan el uno al otro. No les ha tocado fácil en la vida y no saben a la final que decision tomarán, si volverlo a intentar o adoptar.

Muchos solo los miran de lejos, pero ya ellos no dicen nada, ya no van con emoción y cuantan sus logros, tan solo callan. Callando han descubierto, ya que no hay quien juzgue, quien señale y quien cause más dolor que ya pueden estar viviendo.